Four Letter Words

As a runner there are a few words I do not like to hear. These words make me cringe. They are offensive and go against what I believe in. However, there have been a few times when these words were aimed at me, and as hard as they were on my ears, somewhere deep inside I knew they would be good for the rest of me.

These are words like rest, stop, or time (off). Okay, so that last one is more like a phrase, but you know what I mean. These are words I am not interested in. Not because I’m some masochistic fanatic (believe me, there are others who do way more than I ever thought of doing), but because I LOVE what I do.

I LOVE to run. I love to sweat. I love to feel the air in my lungs and the burn in my muscles. I love to push the limits of what I am currently able to do in order to do more. I want to run faster. I want to run farther. I want to sink deeper into a pilates stretch, I want to strengthen my core, and tone up my arms. I love feeling tired because I’ve worked hard. I love falling into my soft, cool sheets after a day of physical exertion. I love…I want…I am…addicted.

Over the past year, however, my back has chosen to take issue with some of these activities. I’ve been in physical therapy for two months now in order to resolve some of these problems, and yesterday the four letter words I’ve dreaded so much were spoken. Out loud. Right at me.

I cringed. I made a sad face. I argued. What about 3 to 5 miles a day? What about 3 miles twice a day? All to no avail. Three miles a day for a week. And no pilates. Great.

I left the physical therapy office and headed to the grocery store with a heavy heart. Still, as I browsed the frozen food aisle I tried to look on the bright side. Less hours spent running would mean more time to do the stretches and core strengthening exercises I’d been assigned by the physical therapist. I have a half-marathon approaching and I’d be tapering for that anyway. I could take Chance for more walks. I could go on bike rides…

So this morning I put some of those brighter ideas to practice. I joined two friends for a slower 4 mile run (I know, not what they said but I’m starting for real on Friday of this week) and got home by 6:30. I took my ipod into the study and with Third Day singing “Born Again,” a pup by my side, and the morning sunlight coming in through the study window, I did my exercises and stretches. It was peaceful. It was a gentler end to the morning than the usual 7:30-minute pace for the last half mile with something by Kanye West or the Black-Eyed Peas keeping me pumped and pushing.

I took my time, counting out the 30 seconds for each stretch, matching the rhythm of the music and letting the words of the song sink in…

I’ve a feeling in my soul
And I pray that I’m not wrong
That the life I have now,
It is only the beginning…

It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
For the very first time

It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
For the very first time
In my life.

As I stood to finish the last of my stretching, I thought maybe there was a time for those dreaded four letter words to be spoken…and maybe they weren’t so bad after all.

The Muscle Chart

I’ve been going to Nesin Physical Therapy for about two months now to get some help with some back issues. After seeing a chiropractor and a massage therapist and resting and icing and stretching, I talked to a friend who said Nesin could be just what I needed. So I got a prescription and I’ve been going since May.

The people there are great. They are so much fun and they have all helped me a great deal. My activity level is pretty high and I know sometimes they probably think it is a little over the top. But they never tell me to back off or quit. They simply help me do the things I love to do.

The other day, after a particularly hard session, I was lying on a table receiving electrical stimulation and ice therapy on my back. There wasn’t much to look at besides the white ceiling or the tan wall and so my eyes strayed to the only wall hanging within my range of site. It was a muscle chart.

The chart showed all the muscles and tendons in the rear and in the legs. I remember looking closely at certain areas, wondering if those muscles or tendons were the cause of my issues and trying to pronounce their names in my head. What struck me after a while was the number of muscles in one small area. There were tons of them! And each one connected to something else which connected to something else which connected to something else… like a big machine.

As I looked at all these muscles and tendons and strange names, I found it amazing that all these things were inside of ME and most of them were working as they should. I thought about my running and my pilates classes and my weight training and my bike riding. I thought about how all of these things had to do exactly what they were made to do in order to let me do those things.

The thought amazed me. To see all the parts and pieces that are in my lower half, it is amazing that more things haven’t broken down or torn up. The progression of my thoughts led me to think of the Creator of these parts and pieces. My small human mind wondered how He came up with all of these muscles and tendons and bones and organs that all had their own job to perform. I found it curious how so many can believe we evolved out of an explosion or simply adapted to our surroundings as our surroundings changed…that it was all an accident.

Looking at the muscle chart, my beliefs were strengthened as they have been so many times by all that God has put into this world. The body is too intricate, too perfect to be an accident. It was planned, designed, formed, engineered, and finally loved.

I don’t know very much about the human body and all that lies inside. I can’t remember any of the names I read that afternoon while looking at the muscle chart. I don’t know the details of all the theories about evolution or the big bang theory, and I don’t know that I could participate in an intellectual argument against any of them.

But I do know the Creator. I know that while faith is believing in things we cannot see, there is still so much to be seen! As I looked at the muscle chart that afternoon, I was in awe of what my God had made. I was humbled by the fact that He spent all that time forming my muscles and tendons, bones and ligaments, making sure they all worked as they should so that His creation could run.