11 Miles Before 6:00 a.m.

There is something about getting up REALLY early in the morning to run that just feels...secretive.  Like I'm sneaking out of the house for some sort of clandestine meeting.  And by "REALLY early" I mean setting the alarm for 3:55 a.m.

I don't often get up at that hour to run.  The usual time is 4:50 or 5:00 a.m. to meet the girls, and a little later when I run solo.  But on this particular morning, Katie needed 20 miles and she had to be home before 8:00 a.m, so I said I would join her.  We have done this once or twice before for various reasons, and even though it is brutally early (and by 2:00 p.m. I am usually a useless lump of sleepiness), it is always fun.  This morning was no exception.

We met at 4:15 a.m. to begin our run.  The temperature was perfection as we started out and we headed for an old familiar route that would get us about 8 miles.  I wasn't planning to do the entire 20, just 10 or so, but by then it would be light out and Katie would feel better about running alone. 

As we ran we chatted about everything as we always do.  Running, family, blogging, life, running, training, running... and the time seemed to fly by.  We ran through part of a new neighborhood that was not very well lit, and as I looked up I was dazzled by the stars.  They were so bright and there were so many!  And they twinkled.  I interrupted Katie and told her to look up.  I did not expect to see so many stars at that hour, and they shown so brightly!  I made a mental note of the gift as we continued our run and our conversation (which I think was on jogging strollers at that point).

It was fun being the only two people out and about at that hour.   It was as if we had the cool morning temperatures and the brilliant starlight all to ourselves as we chatted and ran, enjoying it all.  Eventually we spotted other runners and walkers as the morning hours became more reasonable, and just as we were reaching 8 miles, the sky finally began to grow lighter.  I ended up running a total of 11 of Katie's 20 miles.  I felt really good, but I knew I had No Boundaries that evening and I did not want to overdo by increasing my mileage too quickly and risk injury so early in my training.

Katie grabbed some aid before continuing on with the rest of her run just as two of our other running buddies were finishing theirs.  I got in my car and laughed as I saw it was just a little passed 6:00 a.m.  As I got ready for work, however, I began to feel the effects of such an early start.  I glanced at the clock, saw that it was only 7:00 a.m. and grabbed a quick cat nap until Jason got home from his run.  It was a little too quick for my tastes, but it helped.  Especially when followed by an entire travel mug of coffee.

I might fight sleepiness later this afternoon, and bedtime may come as soon as I finish my last bite of dinner.  But I wouldn't trade this early morning run for anything.  Great company, good mileage, brilliant stars... you can't beat that.  Not even with more sleep.

The Personalized Guide

I was somewhat tempted to skip a plan altogether because I think as long as I'm getting high mileage with bits of tempo and speed mixed in, that is good enough.  But then I counted my available weeks of solid training and I am looking at 14.  That doesn't seem like much.  Plus, I really enjoy coming up with a good training strategy and mileage plan, and I'm afraid if I don't, I won't get in the longer runs in time.  I want to be prepared for this thing. 

The plan below is simply a guide I have come up with to help me train.  I scheduled runs around dates/races/plans currently on my calendar, but more could show up (life happens, you know). It also depends on how I feel.  Certain weeks may have less or more mileage depending on what I (and the knee knob) can do.  I may need more long runs back to back, and more long runs period. I may need another rest day each week. For now, however, this is my guide and what I think my weeks should look like leading up to the 50 mile.  It feels somewhat ambitious, but why not push my limits a little?  I can scale back if and as needed.  For now, this is my guide for my next 50 mile ultra. 

Aug 28 - Sep 3
Sun - off
M - 7 miles
T - 10+ miles in the a.m./No Boundaries in the p.m.
W - 6-8 miles in the a.m./weights in the p.m.
Th - 6-8 miles in the a.m./3 miles in the p.m.
F - 4-6 miles in the a.m./weights in the p.m.
Sat - Monte Sano 10k and 5k - 10-11 miles total
Total: ~ 45 miles

Sep 4 - 10
Sun - off or light and easy run/weights
M - 7 miles a.m./3-4 miles p.m.
T - 6-8 miles a.m./No Boundaries in the p.m.
W - 6-8 miles a.m./weights in the p.m.
Th - 8 miles a.m./3-4 in the p.m.
F - 4-6 easy miles/weights in the p.m.
Sat - 10-12 miles
Total: ~ 48-50 miles

Sep 11 - 17
Sun - Jason's Ironman
M - 8 miles a.m./3-4 miles p.m.
T - 8 mile tempo a.m./No Boundaries in the p.m.
W - 6 miles a.m./weights
Th - 8-9 miles a.m./3-4 miles p.m. (10k pace)
F - 4-5 easy miles/weights
Sat - 12-15 miles
Total: ~ 55 miles

Sep 18 - 24
Sun - off or light and easy/weights
M - 8 miles a.m./3-4 miles p.m. (10k pace)
T - 8-10 miles a.m./No Boundaries in the p.m.
W - 8 miles a.m./weights p.m.
Th - 6 miles a.m./4-5 miles p.m.
F - 4-5 easy a.m./weights
Sat - 15 miles
Total: ~ 58 miles

Sep 25-Oct 1
Sun - off or light and easy/weights
M - 9 miles a.m./3-4 miles p.m.
T - 8 miles a.m./No Boundaries p.m.
W - 6 miles a.m./weights p.m.
Th - 6-8 miles tempo a.m./3-4 miles easy p.m.
F - 15 miles a.m./weights
Sat - 8-10 miles
Total: ~ 63 miles

Oct 2 - 8
Sun - off or light and easy/weights
M - 8 miles a.m./3-4 easy miles p.m.
T - 6-8 miles a.m./No Boundaries p.m.
W - 10 miles a.m./weights
Th - 8 miles a.m./3-4 miles p.m. (5k pace)
F - 5 easy miles
S - Jason's Half-Ironman
Total: ~ 41 miles

Oct 9 - 15
Sun - off or light and easy/Weights
M - 16 miles a.m./3-4 easy miles p.m.
T - 8 miles a.m./No Boundaries p.m.
W - 6-8 miles a.m. tempo/Weights
Th - 10 miles a.m./4 miles easy p.m.
F - 10-12 miles a.m./Weights
Sat - Liz Hurley 5k No Boundaries goal race
Total: ~ 65 miles

Oct 16 - 22
Sun - off or light and easy/weights
M - 10 miles a.m./3-4 easy miles p.m.
T - 8 miles a.m./weights p.m.
W - 6-8 miles a.m./5 miles p.m. (10k pace)
Th - 6 miles a.m./weights p.m.
F - 5 miles a.m.
Sat - 18 miles
Total: ~ 61 miles

Oct 23 - 29
Sun - off/weights
M - 10 miles a.m.
T - 8 miles a.m./weights p.m.
W - 8-10 miles a.m./3-4 miles p.m.
Th - 6 miles a.m./weights p.m.
F - 10 miles a.m.
Sat - 15 miles
Total: ~ 63 miles

Oct 30 - Nov 5
Sun - off/weights
M - 6 miles a.m./3 miles p.m. (5k pace)
T - 8 miles a.m/weights p.m.
W -  10 miles a.m./5 miles p.m.
Th - 6 miles a.m./weights p.m.
Fri - 6 miles
Sat - 20 miles
Total: ~ 64 miles

Nov 6 - 12
Sun - off/weights
M - 8-10 miles a.m./3 miles easy p.m
T - 6 miles a.m./weights p.m.
W - 10 miles a.m./5 miles easy p.m.
Th - 6 miles a.m./weights p.m.
F - 6-8 miles a.m.
Sat - Huntsville Half-marathon
Total: ~ 53 miles

Nov 13 - 19
Sun off/weights
M - 10 miles a.m./5 miles p.m.
T - 8 miles a.m./weights p.m.
W - 12 miles a.m./3 mile easy p.m.
Th - 6 miles a.m./weights p.m.
F - 10 miles a.m./5 miles p.m.
Sat - 10-12 miles
Total: ~ 71 miles

Nov 20 - 26
Sun - off/weights
M - 10 miles a.m./5 miles p.m.
T - 8 miles a.m./weights
W - 10 miles a.m./3-5 miles p.m. (5k pace)
Th - Thanksgiving/Turkey Trot 5k/5 miles
F - 20 miles
Sat - 10 miles

Nov 27 - Dec 3
Start rest days - short fast runs, or slower 6 milers

Dec 4-10
Rest days running 3-5 miles per day
Saturday December 10th - Race Day

Fighting the Summer Doldrums

I don't know about you, but towards the end of August I begin to feel really weary of running in the heat.  I grow weary of training in it, and being forced to get up early every morning of the week to avoid running in the worst of it.  After 3-4 months it begins to wear me down a little. 

However, just as I am growing weary of fighting the constant heat, the smell of fall shows up in the air. Mornings start to cool off a little and the days seem a little less humid.  A breeze or two may even start to grace the days.  So as the summer doldrums begin to take hold, there is the hope of relief that helps me stay on track.  I tell myself that if I just hold on a little bit longer, it will get better.  Until then my daily run may simply have to be about getting it in and enjoying the time spent running, instead of constantly training, pushing, and timing.

That said, however, I'm planning to start a focused ultra training plan come September 1.  The summer heat will still be hanging on, of course, but fall will also be whispering in my ear, telling me of pleasant days to come.  So as I run each morning, I daydream about my training plan, about my strategy, about my pace.  What pace should I run in the beginning of a 50 mile ultra?  Is it possible to run negative splits?  Is it possible to be competitive?  Will the knee knob withstand the increase in mileage?  I plan time on the foam roller, time in the weight room, 2-a-day runs... and despite my sweat gleaming in the hot morning sun, I know that just as my mileage must increase, the temps will slowly begin to decrease.  And that, my friends, is Heaven on this earth to me.

This week I tried to get my mileage up.  Over the summer, my weekly mileage has been in the 30s, and so as I approach ultra training, I wanted to gradually let those numbers creep up a little.  This week I succeeded, but not without some complaining from the old knob (it has begun to have a life and personality of its own these days).

Here is what it looked like:

• Sunday - 3 miles in the storm, weights in the gym, 4 miles on the treadmill, 2 miles home in the heat 
• Monday - 4 afternoon miles with the Fayetteville No Boundaries group - 10:39 average pace
• Tuesday - 8 morning miles (69 degrees, baby!) - 9:16 average pace, 1.5 afternoon miles to mark the Nobo course.
• Wednesday - 8.1 morning miles with the girls - 9:52 average pace.  Weights after work.
• Thursday - Off
• Friday - 6 morning miles. 
• Saturday - 8.4 morning miles - 8:50 average pace

Total miles - 45
Weight workouts - 2

This is the ideal week for pre-training readiness, except I would like to do weights 3 times a week.  I got lazy Friday and Saturday in that area.

In the remaining days before September, I'm going to do a little reading and thinking as I come up with my training plan and strategy.  I love this part.  There is nothing like having a goal race and formulating a training plan to help fight those summer doldrums.

First Giveaway: Running the Edge by Tim Catalano and Adam Goucher!

I am so excited to announce my very first giveaway on See Jane Run!  It is the new release (and by new I mean HOT off the presses and mailed September 1) by runners and authors, Tim Catalano and Adam Goucher.  I stumbled upon their blog, Run the Edge, about a year ago and it has been a source of inspiration and entertainment ever since. 

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Olympian Adam Goucher and Tim Catalano team up to share a unique running philosophy that breaks the mold of traditional running books. By tapping into the transformative power found in the distance run, Running the Edge inspires readers not only to push their limits as runners, but as human beings in a relentless pursuit of excellence in everything.

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I personally cannot WAIT to start reading my copy, and I have not one, but TWO copies to give away!  And not only are they brand new hot off the press, they are signed by both Adam and Tim!  To read the introduction of "Running the Edge" (and get totally sucked in), go here.

Here's how to enter:

1. Post your name and blog (if you have one) in the comments section of this post, and share a little bit with me and the other readers about how running has transformed your life.

2. Send your e-mail address to me at jane.reneau@gmail.com so I can contact you if you win.

The deadline to enter is Sunday, September 4, 2011.  I will post the winning names and contact the winners on Monday, September 5 (Labor Day).  

Good luck!

Let the Training Begin!

The other day I had some stirrings for adventure.  Then I did some searching on the internet.  Then I found an idea.  This idea takes the shape of another 50 mile ultra called Run Through the Jungle, and it is the 31st Anniversary of the Tallahassee Ultra Distance Classic 50k/50 mile run.  This 50 mile is not on trails like the Northface Endurance Challenge last year, it is on a paved path through the "jungle" of Wakulla Springs State Park.  This will hopefully mean no face plants into rocks, trees, trails and such.  The knee knob rejoices.

After the wild adventure that was my first 50 mile ultra I did find myself wondering if I could have done it better if given the right conditions.  The majority of my running is done on the streets of my town, not on trails.  Sure, Monte Sano is just a short drive away and provides plenty of trail types on which to run but...that always took extra planning and so I took to the roads about 90% of the time during my training.

I also learned that trails frustrate me.  I have to slow down.  I have to pay attention.  I can't simply find a rhythm and lose myself in it.  And I'm not willing to go to the extra trouble of getting myself to a trail when the road lies right outside my front door.  After my first 40 mile ultra on Monte Sano I believed myself to have gotten the hang of it. I loved the beauty of the mountains, and since that race consisted of the same figure 8 of trail, I got used to it and had a wonderful time.

The Northface Endurance Challenge trails in Georgia however, were not nearly as friendly as those of Monte Sano, and I couldn't help but wonder at the completion of that ultra if I could do better at that distance if it were on my terms. My terms being the good ole familiar pavement. 

All of that being said, I am ready to begin training for my new idea.  I still have the Rocket Man Triathlon to gut through this Sunday.  My performance there will be laughable, but I'll probably be okay with that since I have not invested any time and emotion in readying myself for it.  As Jason reminds me when I bring it up, it is just for fun.  That is the goal.

After that I'll be free and clear to begin my ultra training, and I've already begun the gradual increase in mileage so that these legs will be ready for the higher mileage weeks that usually accompany ultra training.  And I'm excited!  I love having a new adventure for which to day dream and train!  Providing my knee does not argue and other more pleasant interferences don't show up (like babies), this will remain my plan.  Sure I make plans, but I also prepare myself to be flexible as God's may be different than mine. 

For now, however, let the training begin!

Tuesday's Treat

Today's treat is one I recently discovered while shopping at Sam's and I LOVE it!  The Sensible Portions Cinnamon Apple Straws are a VERY yummy snack.  They remind me of the cinnamon straws you can get at Taco Bell, but these are probably better for you (although I've never checked the nutrition information on those from Taco Bell).  You can eat 38 of these for 130 calories and the ingredients are all natural.  No preservatives, no trans fat, cholesterol free.  To me they are perfect to take to work for a midday snack because it takes me a while to eat them, they satisfy that craving for something sweet later in the day, and I don't feel like I'm in a sugar coma afterward. 

If you visit the website, you will see that Sensible Portions makes other snacks as well.  I haven't tried any of those yet, but I might!  So far I have only seen this product at Sam's, but the website lists other locations where they can be purchased.

Enjoy!

You Wouldn't Believe My Morning...

This weekend Jason and I headed up to Fall Creek Falls State Park for a short weekend getaway and the Fall Creek Falls triathlon.  We arrived at our little cabin in the woods Friday night and until Sunday morning I gave a whole new meaning to words "rest" and "laziness."  I hadn't planned to lie around watching Fried Green Tomatoes and eating Oreos, it just sort of worked out that way when it got too hot to do much else. 

When Sunday morning showed up, however, I was ready to toss aside my sluggishness and move!  I was ready to run.  Only I had to swim and bike first, drat it all.  I was in no mood to do either of those things, and for some reason Jason wasn't either.  We drank coffee in silence, packing up our things and getting all of our gear ready for the transition area. We got to the race site, parked, set-up, got our numbers written on our arms and legs and made our way to the swim start.

The number of participants seemed smaller than last year...which only made me feel worse about my untrained self.  Would I be last off the bike?  I almost was last year.  How embarrassing.  Just call me Grandma Moses. And even before my slower than slow bike ride would be my even slower swim.  I hadn't been in the water in weeks, and it was chilly out!  I dreaded the cold plunge as I looked out on the swim course and I tried to tell myself it looked shorter than usual.

And then came the lightning.  Yes.  Blessed, beautiful lightning.  The announcer came over the loud speaker and said the race would be postponed 30 minutes.  Jason and I decided to go back up to the transition area to get our shoes and go for a jog.  Thunder rumbled down river.  I grinned to myself as I started the 10k run course.

The run course was mostly on a paved path through the woods.  Gently rolling and gorgeous among all the vibrant green foliage and trees.  As I ran, not only were my surroundings beautiful, I felt amazing!  I had not one ounce of knee pain.  Not even a hint.  I felt strong and fresh, like I could run forever.  I loved this!  Every time I saw lightning or heard thunder I restarted the clock.  Thirty more minutes.  That just might be enough time to run the entire 10k course!  And then I could run it again for 12 miles!  That sounded much better to me than a swim and a bike ride beforehand.

The lightning and thunder continued, and the woods began to grow darker.  I was sure that I would see Jason any minute, as we had decided to run 1.5 miles out and turn back in case the race started.  I had planned to tell him when he returned that I was going to run the entire course, but he had decided to do the same so he never doubled back for me.

The thunder became louder and the lightning lit up the woods.  The path finally spit me out on the road and I was a little relieved as it had grown quite dark beneath the trees.  I ran a quick clip as the storm approached.  I wasn't sure where I was at this point, but I was still following the race course.  When I came to a fork in the road, I decided to stop following the course and head back to the transition area.  The problem was, I did not know exactly what road I was on or how far away from the transition area I was.

As I continued to run, the bottom fell out of the sky.  The rain came down in hard sheets and the thunder and lightning were right above me.  I hopped off the road and ran along the tree line, thinking this provided some sort of shelter.  The thunder was so loud that many times I stopped and put my hands over my ears.  This was not at all how I intended this run to go.

A few cars passed me going the opposite direction and they had bike racks, so I figured I was going in the right direction.  But for how long?  Two cyclists passed and I asked them if this was the way back to the race start.  They nodded yes, while pointing in the opposite direction.  That was not helpful.  The storm continued and I was getting more nervous by the minute.  I was in the middle of a state park with woods all around me.  There were no buildings, no people, only the occasional car, and no sign of Jason anywhere.

I finally stopped and stood under a tree with my hands over my ears and tried not to freak out.  I knew if I were with Jason this would not be so scary.  Then I realized I was with Someone infinitely more powerful than Jason... and I asked Him for help.  I figured standing around would not get me anywhere, so I continued to follow the treeline along the road which would hopefully take me back to the race start.

A car going in my same direction slowed and stopped.  I knew this was not smart, but the storm was raging and I didn't know what else to do.  I ran up to the passenger side and said to the driver, "I am trying to get back to the start of a race."  He responded that his daughter was also participating in the race and that she had called him to come and get her.  He offered me a ride and I accepted, apologizing for getting his seat so wet.

Yes.  I know.  I got in the car with a stranger.  He drove me back to the start of the race, which was a good 2 miles further down the road and across a bridge with no shelter.  He was not sure where to go so I showed him where the transition was and he found his daughter.  I knew Jason was probably sick with worry as I looked for him among all the other athletes huddled under the race tents.  As I stood under the edge of a tent watching the rain and being thankful to be somewhere safe, I saw him run up.  He had run the entire 10k course, figuring I'd turned back at the 1.5 mile mark.  He was not worried at all!

The race was cancelled.  Jason and I packed up our sodden gear, dried it off as best we could and loaded it all back up into his 4Runner.  We changed clothes under towels and drove home.  I had gotten in a total of 3 miles and that was not going to do.  I decided to go to the gym, do my weight workout and run 5 on the treadmill, and 2 back home.  That limited my time on the "dreadmill" and my time in the sauna that is Alabama in August.

As I sat at the row machine and looked around me, I had to chuckle to myself.  This was just weird.  A few hours ago I was standing in the woods during the storm of the century in a different state altogether, and now I was sitting in a quiet gym, sunshine streaming through the windows, calmly doing my weight routine.  I still had numbers written on my arms and legs, and I wanted to turn to the person next to me and say, "You wouldn't believe my morning..." 

Instead of swimming 1500 meters, cycling 25 miles and running a 10k, I ran 3 miles in the rain, 4 miles on the treadmill (it was all I could take) and 2 miles home in 91 degrees.  I suppose the moral of this story should be that sometimes things don't turn out like you planned...and when a race director cancels a race because of a storm...that means there is a storm!

The Untrained Triathlete

This weekend I will be participating in the Fall Creek Falls Triathlon, which was my very first Olympic distance tri last year.  I'm excited about doing this one again.  It is like a rematch.  I had a great time last year (experience, not finish time, although I wasn't complaining about that either since it was my first).  Fall Creek Falls is beautiful and the course (especially the run) showcases the very best parts. 

Since the Music City Triathlon this year, however, I have not been in the pool much (and by much, I mean maybe once or twice) and the cycling has been spotty as well.  I had gotten too caught up in finish times and training that I lost the fun aspect, so I allowed myself to chill out with the triathlon training and just do what I love.  Which is run.  And run.  And run.  A little weight training.  And lots of running.  Which is exactly how I like it.  I'm a runner who dabbles in the triathlon over the summer.  I just forgot for a while. 

So, as the Fall Creek Falls Triathlon approaches...I shake my head at my lack of training (swimming and cycling) and grin a little sheepishly wondering how in the world this one will go.  I had a lot of fun last year, so I am looking forward to that part.  But I'd be telling a tale if I didn't admit that despite my relaxed attitude toward my training the past few weeks, I'd still like to do well. 

On top of that, I did this crazy thing to my shoulder this morning.  I stretched, and all hell broke lose.  My alarm went off at 5:00am.  My plan was to get up in time to run more than the usual 2 miles before running with my No Boundaries group at 5:45 and then run 2 miles home, making for 5 or 6 miles before work.  I turned off my alarm and reached overhead, getting one good long stretch in before getting up.  When I let it go, my right shoulder started to hurt.  And then it started to hurt really bad.  I got up and took some ibuprofen thinking it would loosen up with movement.  But it didn't.  I couldn't even get dressed.  I quickly texted Julie and Julia to let them know they would have to lead the run without me, and grabbed an ice pack. 

I couldn't sit and I couldn't stand without pain.  I couldn't turn my head.  I may have uttered an expletive as Jason woke up and offered to rub icy hot on it. I let him and then proceeded to try and find a position that was comfortable.  I eventually drifted back to sleep.

Upon waking an hour later, I think it has improved somewhat.  It is still angry, but subdued.  When time allows, I will take more ibuprofen, add ice and/or heat, and ask Jason for another icy hot treatment (which makes me smell like toothpaste).  Good grief.  Be careful when stretching in the morning.  Apparently it is dangerous. 

So what does Fall Creek Falls have in store?  Who knows!  Beauty, for sure.  Fun, you know it.  A great weekend with Jason, no doubt.  But a good triathlon finish... well... we will see, won't we.  Have a great weekend, my friends, and do something you LOVE!

I Have an Idea

Lately I have felt stirrings. The desire for something new.  Another challenge.  I'm not sure if it is the scent of fall in the early morning air or the fact that I let go of my triathlon training regime and allowed myself to do what I love the most...  Is it my chasing after transcendence over the human condition?  Is it my constant discontentment with the regular and everyday-ness of life?  My longing for some sort of adventure, perhaps?

Whatever it is, the stirrings have awakened and I have begun to look.  I pulled up my marathon and ultra marathon resources on the internet for inspiration.  Click.  Read.  No, not that one.  Maybe this one.  Where do I want to go?  What do I want to do?

And I think I finally found one.  An idea.  I sent it to Jason and of course he is game (maybe we could get him a t-shirt "I love my crazy, ultra marathon runner wannabe wife."  I bet they have that one somewhere).  This idea is merely that.  It is not a plan...and even when it becomes a plan, I make all plans with the knowledge that interferences may show up (some pleasant and hoped for) to change those plans. 

But plan I must.  Train I will.  (Channel Yoda I sometimes do.)  And so here is my latest idea.

The Tallahassee Ultra 50 Mile in Wakulla Springs State Park, December 10, 2011.  Here is what they say about it.  Emphasis mine.

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"The TUDC (Tallahassee Ultra Distance Classic) has a reputation of uniting some of America’s fastest ultra distance runners with those testing themselves at the ultra distance for the first time, for it offers a flat, fast paved loop course, great volunteer support, plenty of on-course aid and generally runner-friendly weather.  In addition, the race is staged fully within the confines of the beautiful Wakulla Springs State Park situated just 15 miles south of Tallahassee, Florida’s capital city. A throwback to “the old Florida,” Wakulla Springs State Park is home to the world’s largest freshwater spring and the historic Wakulla Springs Lodge."

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Did you catch it?  Do you remember the Northface Endurance Challenge?  I do.  The knee knob reminds me daily. And you'd think a girl would learn her lesson after something like that.  And I have.  Pavement, not trails.  But I still want beauty.  I don't want to run in someone else's neighborhood for 50 miles, when that is where I run every day.  So where do I go to find friendly terrain and beautiful surroundings?  Well, apparently Wakulla Springs is the place!

So that's my idea.  Just an idea for now.  Something to quell the stirrings.

Light Up the Sky

I often write about what the sky looks like on my morning run. I think it is one of my most favorite sights.  I love what God does with the sky.  I don't have to go to a museum to see impressive works of art, and I don't have to travel to far away lands to see the most beautiful places this earth has to offer.  I can simply look up.

This morning I started my run with my back to the sunrise.  I ran a familiar loop through my neighborhood which has me running in the same direction for almost a mile before it changes.  At one point I was turning right and I glanced to my left...and I almost stopped to stare.  There was one large cloud in the sky and it was electric orange and pink on a backdrop of pale blue.  I knew it was only a few minutes before I would turn and be able to really look, but I couldn't help myself. I had to keep turning around to get just one more glance.

When I finally rounded the corner and could see it easily, I marveled.  What a sky!  What brilliant colors!  Would I ever get tired of seeing this?  It wasn't but a few minutes and those electric colors were gone.  Just like that, they were replaced with soft pinks and purples as if the first picture had been removed and a brand new one put in its place.  For the remainder of my run, I watched the sky change.  Clouds came and went, colors glowed and muted, and it was amazing.

When I got home I had to move fast to be ready for work on time.  I let Chance out, made coffee, hopped in the shower, got dressed, packed a lunch and a gym bag, kissed Jason - all the while thinking about the busy day ahead and how to be ready and what I needed to do first and second, and would I get it all done...

And then on the way to work one of my favorite songs came on the radio.  It is called "Light Up the Sky" by The Afters, and when I heard the first few notes I pushed away my harried thoughts and grinned.  I sang along, remembering the light show during my morning run.  No matter how crazy my day was going to be, it started out with the most beautiful gift and that filled my heart and mind with peace, gratefulness...and love.  I felt loved.  And it is hard to feel stressed, anxious or worried with that on my mind.

So I run straight into Your arms

You're the bright and morning sun

To show your love, there's nothing You won't do...

Tuesday's Treat

The favorite summer treat of the Reneaus...the delicious weekly dessert that is quick and fabulous and made with one of the superest of super fruits...BLUEBERRY CRISP!

Yeah, I get excited about this one because it is so fabulously wonderful.  There is nothing more scrumptious on this earth than a hot, right-out-of-the-oven blueberry crisp, with a cold scoop (or two) of frozen vanilla yogurt or ice cream.  Oh. My. Word.  It is quick and easy, which is why I have been able to master it.  It is also a yummy way to get in another serving of fruit each day - and not just any fruit.  Blueberries are one of the BEST fruits you can eat!

I got the recipe from the Better Homes cookbook, but I have modified it somewhat and that is the version I am including here.   When finished, it makes 4 servings so Jason and I can have it two nights. 

Here is what you need:

Fresh Blueberries - two small cartons or 3-ish cups
Square pan (I don't know the measurements, but it is square not rectangular)

1/2 cup regular rolled oats (I use more)
1/2 cup of brown sugar (I use just a tad more)
1/4 cup all purpose flour (depends on how much more oats I add)
1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg or cinnamon (cinnamon is my fave and I eyeball it)
1/4 cup butter or margarine (I use light butter and melt it just a tad - 10 seconds)
1/4 chopped nuts or coconut (I haven't ever added this, but I bet it is good).

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.
Wash your blueberries and put them in the square baking dish.
Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of granulated sugar and 2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour onto blueberries and stir it around.  The original recipe calls for more, but this is all I use. When baked, the blueberries get very liquidy, so the flour helps hold them together.

In a medium bowl combine crisp ingredients (oats, brown sugar, all-purpose flour, butter and cinnamon) and stir until it is crumbly.  I usually heat up my butter about 10 seconds, otherwise this stirring-until-crumbly takes forever.  Sprinkle this mixture over your blueberries. 

Bake for 30 to 35 minutes.  Add frozen vanilla yogurt or ice cream to make it over-the-top fabulous.  And enjoy this AMAZING, summer treat. 

Everyone Has an Everest

Jason and I, being the nerds that we are, periodically watch documentaries on Netflix.  Now, when the program makes suggestions of things based on what we've watched before, it includes all kinds of documentaries on all kinds of subjects (further proof that we are total nerds).

One topic we often return to is that of Mt. Everest and all who have climbed or attempted to climb it.  From the first people to get to the top, to those who have died in the attempt, to those who are in the process of attempting it, we have seen it all.  And it is fascinating and amazing.... and horrifying and why would anyone want to do that?  Watching it, I am moved by the motivation and drive of climbers who push their bodies to the brink of death simply to spend a few moments at "the top of the world."  But I'm always thinking in the back of my mind, "Why would anyone want to do that?"

And then I remember my 50 mile adventure.  While some people thought it was cool, some people thought it was downright crazy.  Stupid, even.  And they shook their heads and asked themselves, "Why would anyone want to do that?"  I think of Jason's Ironman training.  I watch his dedication and the long hours spent running, cycling and swimming and I wonder how he does it.  I know he loves it, but why?  I have done a few Olympic distance triathlons, and I have run many marathons without the 2 mile swim and 112 mile bike ride beforehand, and both of these are challenging to me.  I can't imagine doing all that is required to train for and complete an Ironman.  Why would anyone want to do that?

So I come to the conclusion that everyone has their Everest.  It may be to run a marathon, complete the Ironman, climb a mountain, jump out of a plane, get a Ph.D, walk the Great Wall, adopt a child from a foreign country, pass the bar exam, overcome an illness, write a book... we've all got something. The why is still somewhat elusive, but I think a lot of it boils down to triumph.  Adventure.  Pushing ourselves a little harder to see if we can transcend the normal limits of our humanity.  Maybe that is why I feel that running brings me closer to God.  He gave me this body (another gift) and for now it is strong and healthy and able...and willing to run.  And run.  And run.

When I improve upon my marathon, when I complete an ultra, when I successfully finish a triathlon, I feel like I've conquered something.  My own humanity?  Maybe so.  My own limitations?  Possibly.  Being a human means I'm going to mess up every day.  I'm going to be impatient, selfish, hateful, greedy, lustful, and I might tell a white lie or two when it suits my purposes.  And every day I wake up and try not to do all of those things...only to mess up again.  So maybe the reasons I run are to find a way to transcend, to get away from my humanity if only for a few peaceful moments each morning.

This is all conjecture, of course.  Everyone has different things they are chasing, different histories they seek to rewrite, different stories to tell.  But I do think we all have our Everest. What's yours?

Foggy Friday Running

Sometimes I think the very best part of my day happens before 7:00 am.  As I told Mom the other day in regards to counting our gifts, it is easiest to find them in the early morning hours spent running - witnessing sunrises, bird song, peaceful solitude or conversation with close friends.  During the long, sometimes monotonous hours at work, I forget to keep an eye out. I get bored, I get annoyed, I want to do something else... and I forget about my wonderful, gift-filled morning.

This morning was one of those mornings.  Now that No Boundaries has started again, I offer a Friday morning alternate run to any participants who want company, coaching or encouragement on another of their 3 weekly workouts besides our regular Tuesday afternoon session.  The meeting spot is only 2 miles from my house, so I usually run there, run with them, and then run back home.

When I opened the door this morning, I was surprised to see a heavy fog had descended some time in the night.  It was still dark outside and the fog was thick, but instead of being eerie it was peaceful.  The birds were not bothered by the fog and they sang out as usual.  The misty fog made everything seem quieter and sleepier, as if I really was the only one out there (besides all the birds).  It was so pleasant!

I jogged to meet the group, not really knowing who or how many would be there.  When our meeting place came into view, I saw a crowd!  There were four No Boundaries runners, a participant from a previous session, and three other coaches.  I was so impressed!  We did our workout, and I enjoyed catching up with a friend I worked with long ago.  After the run I stood around and chatted with them for a bit before running back home.  

I love peaceful morning runs.  I love helping new runners get started and discover something they like to do.  I love talking with friends, old and new.  I love seeing the world wake up, and I love that I love all of these things.  I also love writing about it all (as you've probably noticed) because my hope is that someone will read something they like and go try it themselves.  Maybe someone will be encouraged.  Sometimes that someone is me.  I often return to a post to relive a morning moment, to remind myself of the gifts I've received, especially during those moments when I find it hard to see them. 

In her book, "One Thousand Gifts," Ann Voskamp describes the writing down of our daily gifts to be like "unwrapping love."  I think of my returning to my posts and my list like that.  It is unfortunate how easily I can forget the glory all around me.  I can so easily get bogged down in my computer screen, to-do lists, shuffling paper from one side of my desk to the other, and the endless needs of students and co-workers... that I forget I had the most magical, gift-filled morning... just like that.

So I have recorded, once again, a gift-filled experience that I can return to and unwrap all over again.  My hope is that you too, dear reader, will find some wonderful gifts just waiting for you to unwrap today as well!

Rainy Running Revelry

Yesterday morning I stood up my running partner.  Flat out stood her up!  She drove to my house and waited on me to come outside for 15 minutes before going back home to do her run solo.  When I realized this, I was mortified!  I had totally forgotten we made Monday morning plans the week before, and I was so disappointed and frustrated with myself.

She was very sweet about it, though.  I apologized profusely and she said she was just glad I was okay and that she would come again next Monday.  Her name is Jane, by the way. 

Forgetting my morning running date (and lounging around in bed too long) meant it was the treadmill for me after work.  I would have planned it for lunchtime, but I was going to help my sister with her very first home school PE class (which was a total blast and I discovered some mean hula hooping skills in the process).

After work it was drizzly and 75 degrees.  As I drove to the gym, I changed my mind about the treadmill.  Since no lightning accompanied the drizzle and it was a little cooler than usual, I decided to go home and run outside. 

As I got dressed at home, the rain picked up.  Still no lightning, though, so I headed out anyway.  It turned out to be the best decision ever.  I had one of the best runs I have had in a long time.  My average pace was 8:17 with two of those miles being under 8 minutes.  It felt great and I was so excited to experience a run like that in August!

As summer prepares to give way to fall, my thoughts begin to turn once again to the marathon.  As I ran yesterday, I thought about how I'd felt at the beginning of the summer.  I had just run a SUPER hot marathon in April and I was ready for a break.  And even amidst the triathlon training, there was the feeling of constant striving, pushing and struggling that was wearing me down mentally and physically.  But once I decided to let go and do what I loved the most... I felt rested.  I was free to enjoy it for all the reasons I had always enjoyed it, and I slowly began to feel...ready.

That does not mean I'm going to start marathon training next week. It is still August after all, and despite this brief respite from the heat, it is not gone for good.  It simply means I'm ready to work on my base - I'm ready to think about marathon training.  I will continue working my way up and over 10 miles so that when I do start to train, my body is ready for the increase in mileage and speed.  And for the first time in 4 months, I am ready to think about these things.

It is a good feeling.  And my rainy day run helped quite a bit.  I consider it a gift.  After forgetting my planned run with Jane yesterday morning, I prayed, "I know there is a reason for everything, Lord, but I REALLY wish I had not forgotten this morning's run."  Maybe God had a gift He wanted to give me that day. A gift He knew I needed.  I like to think so anyway.

Sunday's Gifts

Seeing the joy.  Seeing God.  Giving thanks.  Being thankful.  In everything.  No matter what.  This is what I am striving to achieve, and I am going to tell you right now, this is POWERFUL stuff.  Life-changing, joy-giving, God stuff.  It is the stuff I have been focusing on the last week or so, and the gifts I see, they change me.  

This Sunday morning my niece sat next to me during church service.  I will admit this is one of the main reasons I enjoy church.  Right or wrong, there it is.  With the man I love on one side, and two precious kids on the other, with my sister nearby... it just makes God's presence seem real and close and wonderful.

Caroline usually sits close to me, so that our shoulders are touching.  Sometimes she puts her head on my shoulder or leans into me as we sing, pray, and listen to the morning's lesson.  Sometimes she takes my arm, sometimes she puts her head in my lap, and I bask in the wonderfulness of it.  I absolutely adore this child.

I stroke her hair with my hand and think about the days when she will be too big to lean against me and too old to think sitting next to Aunt Jane is so fun.  So I soak in these moments and hold onto them tight.  I try to slow them down so that each second lasts an hour.

This particular Sunday morning, Jason's parents joined us and we were sitting behind Mark and Julie.  Caleb sat with them, and Caroline came back to join me.  We sang a few songs, the last being, "Love One Another," which is a favorite of mine.  Caroline does not usually sing.  She stands when we stand and is attentive, but she does not sing (although, I know she does when in class with her friends).  When the song showed up on the large screens in the front of the church, she noticed.  She had my hand in hers and together, we sang the alto part of the song.  We repeated it again and again as the other parts and verses joined us.

"Love one another, for love is of God.  He who loves is born of God and knows God.  He who does not love, does not know God, for God is love. God is love." 

With Caroline's voice accompanying mine, Jason and his family and my family all around us, the beautiful sound of all the parts coming together, and the powerful simplicity of the words we were singing, I could hardly finish a verse without my voice cracking.  I had to swallow and work hard to pull it together as I did not want anything to interrupt this perfect moment.

What a gift!  What a powerful, amazing, sweet, precious, WONDERful, gift!  I've been counting and keeping watch.  I've been noticing the beauty around me, the things that make me smile, and an overwhelming thankfulness takes over every moment I spend thinking on things that are true and right and noble and good.  But this gift...this gift takes the cake.  Or it IS the cake.

Caroline's voice.  The words we were singing.  Being surrounded by those I love... what a gift.  Gifts within gifts.  I am still holding on to that moment.  I wrote it on my gift-list for yesterday, but maybe remembering it should go on today's list. 

I leave you with a favorite quote of mine in the book, "One Thousand Gifts" (along with the suggestion that you read it for yourself).

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."

- Sarah Ban Breathnach

Lots O' Runnin'

And that's how I like it.  While my weekly mileage numbers are not as high as they are when running in the winter and marathon training, they are the highest they've been in a while.  My knee gave me a little break this week, allowing me to push a little harder and run a little further. 

Here's the weekly activity report:

Sunday, July 31 - Weights at the gym and 4 miles on treadmill
Monday, Aug 1 - Ran 9 miles in the morning, No Boundaries kick-off that night
Tuesday, Aug 2 - Ran 4 miles that morning, weights after work, short bike ride - 5 miles
Wednesday, Aug 3 - Speed work at track for a total of 6 miles that morning
Thursday, Aug 4 - Weights at the gym at lunch, bike ride after work - 12 miles
Friday, Aug 5 - Ran 6 miles with the girls that morning, ran 3 fast miles after work
Saturday, Aug 6 - Ran 11 morning miles with Katie

That is a total of 43 miles on foot, and 17 miles on the bike.  I'd like more on the bike, but with the No Boundaries kick-off and crazy weather conditions, I had to rearrange things a little.  Doing 43 miles at the W.C. Handy ride on Saturday of the previous week made it alright with me.  My bum needed a rest! 

As you  may notice, I have started to include a weekly weight routine.  Jason got me started on Sunday, and the plan is to go twice during the week and once during the weekend.  I will have to be flexible with my times for this, but that should not be a problem. I think weight training is an important part of my overall training that has been missing for a long time.  So far, I am enjoying it (and seeing how weak I am!). 

I have really enjoyed this week.  I've done what I loved the most, taken time for other things when needed, and it has been GREAT!  I have also enjoyed counting and keeping an eye out for gifts (see 1000 Gifts page).  God gives me gifts every day, and I am blown away if I keep my eyes open and look for them.  My mom and I are e-mailing each other our gifts each day, and I have enjoyed sharing mine with her and getting to read her gifts.  It is hard to feel anything other than thankful when my eyes are focused on all the things God has given me.  I find this easier to do in the mornings (and on Saturdays), but I'm trying to teach myself to continue looking throughout the day.

God bless you all as you rest from a busy week and get ready to start a new one (and SCHOOL for many of you!)

Chilling Out

I've decided to chill out a little when it comes to my triathlon training.  Sure, I'm still hoping to do well at the Rocket Man coming up at the end of the month, but I also want to enjoy the journey along the way.  I mean, the point of all this swimming, cycling, and running is to have fun, right?  If it isn't fun, what is the point?  And if I enjoy running the most, followed by cycling, with swimming trailing far behind somewhere, I think that is how it should go down.

But that also fits in with my priorities.  While I will always have a desire to do well in all events, triathlons have never been the top priority.  They started out as a fun way to get through the hot summer months, but I think they have slowly tried to inch their way up the chain of importance in my life.  And when I stop to ask myself if I really care about them...I find that I don't.  What I care about is having fun, running well, and staying healthy and fit.

I haven't been to the pool all week.  I did get in a tiny ride on my bike once, and will do so again this afternoon, weather permitting.  I enjoy cycling a lot more than I used to, especially when I have a pal. My friend Shannon started riding with me a few months ago, and then introduced me to Jane, who also likes to run and bike.  The three of us have been riding one afternoon a week, and I always look forward to it.  That is how it should be!  I don't want to dread my workouts!  I want to look forward to them, whether it is a peaceful solo morning run, or a bike ride with good friends. 

I also believe when my heart is at peace, when I am having a great time doing whatever I am doing, I usually do it better.  Stress, worry, frustration, and the constant struggle for improvement wears the body down, hurting performance.  As Jason wisely reminded me, "Who cares what your time was, as long as you had fun doing it." 

I am happy to say that the fun factor is back.  I'm running a lot more, enjoying my bike rides, and fitting in a swim whenever I feel like it.  My schedule will be changing somewhat this next week as No Boundaries has started back up.  I will run with my Madison team every Tuesday afternoon, which will mean I will move cycling to another day.  That will probably mean fewer swims, but I am okay with that.  I'd much rather work with my No Boundaries peeps than swim back and forth in a pool lane.

Speaking of No Boundaries, we have a BIG group this year.  Fleet Feet kicked up the marketing just in time for our numbers to explode.  I have four friends I have talked into doing it, and I am very excited for them.  I also got to meet several other participants Monday night at kick-off and I saw hope and excitement, mixed with a little uncertainty in their eyes.  I cannot wait for them to see all that they can do.  Man, I love coaching this program.  And coaching in general.  I'm hoping and praying for new opportunities with that as well, and in the meantime learning all I can.  I'm taking Health and Wellness Concepts this semester, and hopefully Nutrition for Fitness and Sports next semester, along with Essentials of Personal Training.

So yeah, this chilling out thing is working out well. 

The Madison and Huntsville No Boundaries coaches with Liz Hurley

Tuesday's Treat

 

I finally got some reader feedback for my weekly Tuesday Treat!  Katie, a good running friend and fellow blogger sent me one of her favorite quick and healthy treats, and it is a good and simple one, especially for runners.  The hard boiled egg!  Here is what she had to say about it:

I just hard boil them and then sprinkle salt on them when I eat them.  And I just hold them in my hand in a paper towel to eat them.  Nature's portable food!  To hard boil them, I just put them in a pot with 3 inches of water, boil the water on the stove, then remove the pot from the heat and let it sit for 15 minutes.  Then add cold water and ice to the pot.  And I always peel them under cold water because it is easier to peel them that way.

I discovered my love for hard boiled eggs one day last year when I was trying to find a use for all of the dyed eggs we'd made for Easter.  I hated eggs for years (and still don't like them any way except hard boiled).  Anyway, I made deviled eggs and then proceeded to eat about 4 whole eggs!  I really liked them!  After that, I decided that deviled eggs were a lot of work, but hard boiled eggs really weren't.  So I googled how to make them (and found MANY variations), and I found an easy method. 

Now I make them pretty regularly.  I grab one or two for a quick breakfast, serve them for dinner when we're eating a meatless meal for protein, and grab them for snacks too.  They are super cheap--I think 19 cents each.  And a pretty good source of protein (I'm not up on the rest of the nutritional stuff :)).

One bad thing about them is their smell.  I hate how the fridge smells when I open it and hard boiled eggs are in there!  

And there you have it!  The pros (and one con) of the hard boiled egg.  Thanks so much, Katie for your contribution to Tuesday's Treat!  Next week I have a scrumptious recipe involving the super fruit, blueberries. Don't miss it! 

40 Miles and 1000 Gifts

For the past month or so I've been a little out of sorts.  I've been angry, frustrated, annoyed, uninterested and I haven't liked feeling that way.  That isn't me and it isn't how I like to exist.  I have fought this off and on, trying to let things go, trying not to allow people to get under my skin or hurt my feelings, and I've had varying degrees of success, but nothing lasting.

This weekend we went to Florence, AL to do the W.C. Handy bike ride.  I was planning to do the 40 or the 60 mile, and Jason was doing the full 107.  I was not really looking forward to this.  I didn't have a buddy and I get so bored riding by myself for hours.  I was dreading it and Jason could tell.  I tried to put on a happy face for him because I knew he wanted and needed this ride, and I did not want him to feel bad about that.  I enjoy doing these things with him, even if some of them aren't my cup of tea.

And I knew from last year that this ride was beautiful, so I thought I just might surprise myself and enjoy it.  I wanted to enjoy it.

Jason stayed with me for a few miles before riding on.  As I rode along, I could feel the feelings of anger and frustration and boredom begin to well up and I fought them again.  I talked to God about it, I tried to soak in the peaceful morning beauty of the fields surrounding me.  I tried not to think of 40 lonely miles of just me and these fields...

And then out of nowhere someone said, "I like your shoes!"  I looked to my left and there was a rider.  I looked down at my shoes in confusion before saying thanks.  She asked me how far I was going and I said either 40 or 60 depending on how I felt. I forgot to ask her what she was doing.  We rode close together for a while each taking turns in front.  I decided it had been rude not to return the question, so I asked her how far she was going.

And we chatted the rest of the way.  It was the most lovely ride!  She was from Athens and worked at the Athens Wellness Center as a fitness instructor, so we had plenty to talk about.  Before I knew it we had reached the 20 mile aid station.  I asked her if she was interested in 60 miles and she said she was, but that her mom and daughter were waiting on her for lunch.  I decided 40 miles with company was better than 60 miles alone, so I went with her.  It was the fastest 20 miles of my life.  It went by fast because we chatted the entire way, but we also kept a good speed.  It was much faster than I usually go and I had to work to stay with her - but I enjoyed that part too!

We finished our ride, exchanged information, and got ourselves stretched out by two chiropractors who had set up tables at the finish pavilion.  I sat at a picnic table in the shade for a bit and contemplated the gift that had been my new riding pal.  And the gorgeous day.  And the cool breeze that went away shortly after my ride was concluded.  I was thankful.

Upon returning home, however, all the feelings of thankfulness and joy that accompanied my ride began to drift away.  Sunday I found myself angry and aggravated at the state of things around me.  I did not enjoy church service, I did not want to sing, and I began allowing people and circumstances to feed my anger until I was just boiling.

What was my problem?  I could not figure it out, but I knew something needed to change and fast!  I'd talked to God about it and nothing had changed.  I tried to change my attitude and talk positively to myself, but nothing would stick.  So, I called my counselor and adviser, Mom. 

"Mom, you gotta counsel me," I said. "You've gotta lay it down and set me straight.  My attitude is wrong and I can't seem to get it right again."

So Mom asked me if the book she had ordered for me had come in. It had and I'd just opened the box a few minutes ago.  The book was "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.  She told me to turn to page 136 and she read a bit to me.  

"You can't positive-think your way out of negative feelings....Feelings work faster than thoughts; blood runs faster than synapses. The only way to fight a feeling is with a feeling.  Feel thanks and it's absolutely impossible to feel angry.  We can only experience one emotion at a time.  And we get to choose - which emotion do we want to feel?"

My heart and soul perked up a little.  How could it be that Mom had ordered me a book that had come in just this weekend, and now she'd turned to the exact page I needed?  She said that the author had decided to count the gifts God had given her every time she began to feel something she did not want to feel.  Now there's much more to it than that (and I am now on page 38, so I'll be able to explain more eventually), but it is a great start for me.

Mom, as always, knew what to say.  She read that portion of the book and then addressed some of the things I had said were burning me up.  Before hanging up, we decided to e-mail each other every day with 5 gifts.  At first I thought every day might be excessive, but then I started counting...

I see that I've been an ungrateful little brat, to put it bluntly. A child with hands on hips, stomping one foot shaking her finger at God and saying, "This is NOT what I had in mind!"  And while these feelings rage on inside, there are things I know.  First, I know for a fact that God is wiser and smarter than me, and I definitely want things done His way.  No doubt about that. That doesn't mean I like it all the time, or that I will always act right, but at the end of the day (or tantrum), I know His will is what I want.  Second, I know He loves me with a love I cannot fathom...which is a good thing since I've been such an unlovable, ungrateful snit lately. 

And third, this gift counting thing just might work.  It will take some doing, of course. I can't change a spoiled brat overnight.  But I can change her.  As for the 5 gifts I'm sending Mom, here they are.  Of course, the list I'm not e-mailing is much, much longer...

1. A new friend on my bike ride Saturday.
2. The breeze that day and the perfection of the blue sky.
3. Jason's sweet words and kind eyes.
4. A wise mom who points me to God every day.
5. The book, "One Thousand Gifts."