The alarm went off again at 4:30 this morning. I hit the snooze button as many times as I thought safe, while dreaming I’d already gotten up between snoozes. I eventually hauled my tired limbs out of bed and walked over to my dresser, where I had laid out my running clothes the night before. My sleepy mantra was “one more day, one more day, just one more day” as I got dressed, put on my cap, kissed my sleeping husband and headed out.
I drove 25 minutes to meet Kristi and Chris and we ran 8 miles over Cecil Ashburn and back. While the run itself was fine and I enjoyed the views of the city and skyline from up there, I felt sleepy and heavy on the drive to and from the run. I wondered how I would make it through this day. Following work, I have class from 5:30-8:30 and I knew by then I would be zonked.
Still, I repeated my mantra. Monday through Wednesday I have evening activities which make my day longer than I would sometimes like it to be. So when the alarm goes off in the 4:00 hour, I don’t mind running, but I know I may pay for it later. Most Thursdays I do run, but I sometimes have the option to do it in the afternoon instead of early in the morning. (Although for the last few weeks, I have found things to fill up that night as well.) So the “one more day” mantra was more for schedule than mileage. For mileage the mantra is “one more week” which is actually no longer correct but sounds better than “4 more days.”
So, I am tired. A lot. I love what I do, but I also recognize that other things may suffer because of it. I want to crawl under my desk at 2:00 p.m. and sleep. I want it so badly, I almost do it. I am hungry all the time. I feel like I bring enough lunch for the hockey team, and yet I have still lost weight. I don’t feel like going to class on Wednesday nights, I don’t feel like dressing up for work or fixing my hair (which I do anyway, but sometimes…well…I look a little thrown together to put it nicely), and I fall asleep on the couch as soon as I sit down. Thankfully, Jason understands all of this and knows it is only for a time, so he has never complained about any of it.
As for me, I want running to enhance my life, not make things harder. But for now, despite the weariness I feel and the longing for a huge breakfast of pancakes, bacon and eggs followed by a 3 hour nap, I press on and repeat my mantra. “One more week, one more week, just one more week.”
If all goes as planned, I will complete my third consecutive 60 mile week. I have never done this before – or anything remotely close to it. I feel good about it, and my confidence increases as I think about my approaching 50 mile race.
When race day finally arrives, I will step up to the start line in the early morning darkness and know I have worked hard for this moment. When I cross the finish line, I will know it was all worth it. And then I will have Jason drive me directly to Cracker Barrel.
You amaze me! I think you amaze your mom, too. She is really proud of you.
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