It is pretty sad when I am merely to the introduction of a book and I already have a lump in my throat. My friend, Julia, brought me "Running with the Buffaloes" by Chris Lear this morning when we met to run, and so while I was stuck in the recording studio all day at work, I picked it up and began reading.
This book is about the University of Colorado's men's cross country team and a season the author spent with them. I have no idea if it will be interesting or not, but from the Forward (written by Adam Goucher who was on the team that season) and the Introduction, I'm thinking it will be.
The part that spoke to me was in the very first paragraph of the introduction. The coach, Mark Wetmore, was speaking to Adam Goucher who, according to the author appeared nervous before the 1998 NCAA Men's 10k National Championships for which he had worked hard (which I suspect may be an understatement as I read about this season in its entirety).
"You're fine, Adam. You're fine. Trust it, Adam. Trust your work."
Reading these words my eyes began to burn and I thought, Good grief! What is my deal?
I know what my deal is, however. Despite my best efforts not to care, not to over think, not to raise it to a place it does not belong, the upcoming marathon has become important to me. As far as my training, I wouldn't say it has been as grueling and intense as I considered my training for the St. Louis marathon last year to be, but what began as a lighthearted, experimental approach has become focused, filled with purpose and hope.
So I imagine myself at the start line. I picture myself starting what will be a smart, negative split-filled, personal record race. I check the weather daily. I go to bed early. I'm trying to give my body the nutrients it needs to remain strong and healthy and perform well on race day. I daydream about seeing Jason at the finish line and hearing him cheer for me as I run under an amazing clock time. And so now I'm in trouble. Because my heart is all in, once again.
And while I cannot compare my running to that of Adam Goucher and the UC cross country team, I can borrow the words of his coach from that time. I know I have worked hard. I know I have run well. I know I have met all of the training goals I have set for myself and I know I can do this. I've just got to remember to trust my work.