Tuesday, July 26, 2011
This morning I went for a run. It was hot and humid and I was slower than I wanted to be. During the run I thought to myself, "Jane, you are losing your joy." All of the striving and pushing and training and trying - it has been wearing me out. And I've begun chasing myself with such fervor, that I've forgotten that it doesn't always have to be about reaching a goal or beating a PR. It can be about just running down the road because I'm blessed enough to do so.
I think losing focus on the simple love I have for this activity points to losing focus on much bigger things. Like maybe the One who made me and all this running possible. Like the One who gave me a wonderful husband to do all this running with me. Like the One I am supposed to glorify in all that I do, running included.
In the past, my solo morning runs have been peaceful, joyous times of me, the sunrise and the Creator of it all. But it has been a while since He and I have spent time together - running or otherwise.
A running friend of mine wrote a beautiful post about this very thing today. I have had many runs like the ones she described, but not recently. And more than running quickly down the street, I want to be running with my heart focused on Him.
So it is time to refocus, to change directions. Sure, I'm still going to train, but I'm going to give this body, heart and mind a little peace and quiet too. It's time to let go of the things that don't matter. As Katie pointed out, my God loves me and he knows the desires and delights of my heart. He also knows what I need more than I do.
I'm not sure how I lost focus or why, but I intend to get it back. Starting now.