This morning I went for a run. It was hot and humid and I was slower than I wanted to be. During the run I thought to myself, "Jane, you are losing your joy." All of the striving and pushing and training and trying - it has been wearing me out. And I've begun chasing myself with such fervor, that I've forgotten that it doesn't always have to be about reaching a goal or beating a PR. It can be about just running down the road because I'm blessed enough to do so.
I think losing focus on the simple love I have for this activity points to losing focus on much bigger things. Like maybe the One who made me and all this running possible. Like the One who gave me a wonderful husband to do all this running with me. Like the One I am supposed to glorify in all that I do, running included.
In the past, my solo morning runs have been peaceful, joyous times of me, the sunrise and the Creator of it all. But it has been a while since He and I have spent time together - running or otherwise.
A running friend of mine wrote a beautiful post about this very thing today. I have had many runs like the ones she described, but not recently. And more than running quickly down the street, I want to be running with my heart focused on Him.
So it is time to refocus, to change directions. Sure, I'm still going to train, but I'm going to give this body, heart and mind a little peace and quiet too. It's time to let go of the things that don't matter. As Katie pointed out, my God loves me and he knows the desires and delights of my heart. He also knows what I need more than I do.
I'm not sure how I lost focus or why, but I intend to get it back. Starting now.
Jane, I am glad you enjoyed my post. Sometimes it's easier to focus on the numbers and times. But God had a way of bringing those nagging thoughts of gratitude to the surface--if we let Him! I have always admired the joy you feel from running. I hope you continue to feel joy (and not frustration and disappointment) when you run. And, randomly, I love how you worked the word "fervor" into your post :) Sometimes a word just FITS. You said it well.
ReplyDeleteHi Jane, I just discovered your blog today. Thanks for writing this. Oddly enough, I'm sort of going through the exact same thing. I'm glad the Lord is gracious enough to help us to rest and to refocus on him.
ReplyDeleteThe thing I am LOVING about triathlon is that I can NOT rely on my own strength. I MUST call out to God almost every moment of the race. I need Him to help me focus to help me move to help me finish and to help me praise Him no matter what the results show on paper. It's constant instruction on so many different levels. ((And remember, you can't compare one tri to another--even with the same course you have the current and the wind that can cause drastic differences in times.))
ReplyDeleteWow I think you hit the nail on the head with this one! I really needed that. Thanks for "stepping on my toes". I will join you in refocusing on what's important! So glad God never leaves even when we lose sight of Him!
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Michelle! Thanks so much for all of your thoughts and encouragement! That's a huge blessing to me - having peeps who understand these things. :)
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