Both my small group and my Sunday morning class have been studying Romans. This is one of my favorite books, full of many things I love to hear and many things I'm still trying to understand, so I always enjoy hanging out there. One Sunday morning in class I had my Bible open to the chapter in Romans we were studying and as I glanced down I noticed a little devo on the next page. It talked about how we don't often know what we should say or how to say what we should say when talking to God. We have questions and thank yous and requests and we try to keep our thoughts neatly organized and devoted to the act of prayer but... it doesn't always work.
But then the writer reminded the reader that we don't always have to have our prayers in a nice, neat, orderly package for God. We have this wonderful Holy Spirit that He left us with, that will intercede for us (Romans 8:26-27). I never really understood that. I mean I sort of grasped it but, I wasn't sure what the Spirit was or would say that I wasn't or couldn't say.
After my run the other night, however, I think I caught a glimpse of what it means for the Holy Spirit to talk to God for me, to tell Him what I'm trying to say. I had just finished running, something I feel even more grateful for during these ever-changing days of pregnancy, and I was walking slowly, cooling down. I felt triumphant to have started and finished my run, I felt good and refreshed. I was thrilled to be pregnant with a little one, thrilled to be married to such a wonderful man who would be such a great dad too. I was enjoying the warmer temperatures immensely, feeling more alive with the coming of spring. As I began to tell God all these things and just how grateful I was and that I knew I was undeserving, which made me even more grateful, I looked up (which sort of makes sense to me when praying) and saw a sky glittering with stars. My thoughts and prayers were interrupted by the beauty above and then I was grateful for that too! Undeserving and thankful and happy and excited and hopeful and overwhelmed trying to get my point across to my amazing Creator Who would take time to listen to me...
And I just couldn't. I didn't have enough words to cover the feelings. Then I remembered Romans and what I had read about the Spirit. So smiled and admired the stars again and decided that the point had been made. God knew and understood, and what I couldn't say had been said for me as my heart would say it. It could all be jumbled up into this mass of undeserving overwhelmed happiness and joy, and God would know what I meant.
Now, I'm not a Bible scholar. So if that is not what Paul meant when he wrote about the Spirit, then I'll be right back at square one of not really getting it, but knowing and believing the Spirit is in me, doing Its (His?) thing. But if the Spirit can handle my weakness and groanings... I have a feeling all those other things can be communicated as well. So I'll just add that to my jumbled up mass of gratefulness too.
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