Today I made it real. I am an official entrant of the Tallahassee Ultra Distance Classic 50 Mile, which will take place on December 10. I was waiting until the end of October to see how my training was going to shape up, if the knee knob would allow it, and now that the end of this month as arrived, I decided it was all systems go.
So I registered. Then I re-read everything I'd already read about the race. Then I looked at past race results. Then I looked at current entrants. And with every click of the mouse and every finish time recorded, my heart started to beat a little bit faster. It is a little early for butterflies to show up and doubt to creep in with one solid month left to train, but both have begun to show up anyway, now that it's real. I mean I've been planning and training, but when I hit that "process registration" button... it all became very real.
I'm excited about the possibilities. And I'm hopeful. Will it be great? Will it be amazing? Will I rise to the challenge and conquer this 50 mile? Will I run strong and finish well? I'm also nervous about the possibilities. Will unforeseen difficulties show up in this one like they did last time? What if something goes wrong with my fueling? What if the knee says no after all? What if I'm really not cut out for this type of thing? And then even if all goes well, will I be able to make the time I want? Am I being too ambitious with my first 50 mile on the road?
My goal is to finish in 9 hours. According to last year's results, if I finish in 9 hours I'd be in the back of the pack but as a first timer attempting this distance on the road, I'm afraid to be more ambitious than that, and I don't want to be less. At the moment there are 20 runners entered in the 50 Mile. Last year 21 entered, with 6 of those runners falling back to the 50k distance.
So what am I made of? Do I have what it takes? I look forward to and am nervous about finding out. But what is this life without a little mystery, without a little adventure, without a little push past what I believe is possible to the impossible? So I'm registered and my training continues. I have 5 more weeks (this one included), ultra training weeks 9-13...
Let's see how I do, now that it's real.