Telling

As time passed, slowly but surely, the days crept closer to that first appointment date when I would have my first real appointment since discovering I was pregnant.  I had planned to wait until after this day to tell my family but as I suspected, my habits had changed too drastically for them not to be suspicious. The first sign was the 50 miler I would not be running.  Mom knew I'd run several races on a sore knee and suspected that couldn't be the only reason.  The caffeine thing was also a dead giveaway since I went from being an avid coffee drinker to hardly drinking any at all.  When I did it was decaf.  Those things mixed in with what I did and did not say began to make Mom and Julie suspect so that when I finally told them, they confessed to having suspicions. 

It was SO FUN to finally tell them.  I swore them to secrecy until the first trimester was over and then we could tell the rest of the world including Julie's kiddos.  As time passed and my symptoms continued, I grew more confident in the little blueberry (week 7) growing inside.  I was still so very tired and getting up to run became harder and harder so that I only met the morning crew about once a week.  My breasts were still unbelievably sore and... growing. I also experienced a strange nauseous type feeling after breakfast, which lasted until lunch or afterward.  I lost my appetite for coffee (which I found bizarre and unfortunate) and discovered a love for Sprite and orange juice.

Once Mom and Julie (along with Jason's parents and brother) knew our good news, I had their added prayers to my own and that gave me confidence as well.  I continued to seek the balance between faith and getting my hopes up... I wanted to have faith that God had not given me this new gift only for it to go away, but I knew of so many women who had faith and had lost their first pregnancy, and I couldn't explain that to my mustard seed-sized faith.

But my heart rejoiced in sore breasts, endless tiredness, and nausea because those things meant my blueberry was still growing.  I read on whattoexpect.com about my baby each week and it was fascinating.  I loved telling Jason what I learned and once my family knew, I couldn't wait to talk about it with them.  Every detail, every experience, every thought, every question, every worry... I couldn't wait to tell all things pregnancy to those who were almost as invested as I was in this new little life.

Needless to say, telling helped with the waiting...