Do Not Cry in Target

I mentioned a few days ago that I am planning to hit the pool at the Y for some Aqua Zumba, Water Aerobics and good ole lap swimming.  Running is still thankfully pleasant, but I want to plan and be ready to enjoy some other cardio activities should it get too hot or too uncomfortable.  So, the hunt for the maternity swimsuit began.

Yesterday at lunch I went to the mall and hit up JCPenney to take back some dresses I ordered.  They didn't carry maternity swimsuits, but had a large regular section.  I decided I needed a tankini because I will probably need many pit stops while swimming just like I do when running, and a two piece is easier to get on and off.  I didn't see anything so I headed to Motherhood and tried on two there.  They were awful.  Beyond awful.  There was absolutely no support upstairs and even if there had been, I wasn't sure I wanted to show that much anyway.

Now, I know many women don't mind showing what they've got, and that is fine for them. I'd just rather not.  Even before pregnancy when I was in my best running shape, I preferred the sportier look over the sexy one. Surely I am not the only pregnant woman who feels that way!

I tried not to think about it as I drove back to work.  After work I went to Target.  I'd seen some sportier looking suits online so I figured those would be less revealing.  WRONG!  Not only did they also provide no support, they were so low cut!  What in the world?  Am I the only woman who just wants to swim comfortably without showing all the goods?  I stood there trying to imagine going out in public like that and I just couldn't.

And then... the hormones made themselves known...and to my horror I realized I was going to cry.  I quickly hung up my stuff, returned them to the attendant and walked as swiftly as I could out of Target.  "Do not cry in Target.  Do not cry in Target," became my mantra as I bit my lip and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. I hopped in the car, put on my sunglasses and let it all out. 

I got home and I was still going strong.  Jason was on his trainer, but he got off when he saw me come in.  You would have thought someone shot my dog.  I can't remember what exactly I said when I could finally take a breath, but if you are a female you can imagine the blathering on about weight, clothing, pregnancy, and how I must be an awful mom already since I'm worried about what I look like when this precious thing is growing inside.

Once I got myself together, we went into the kitchen to make dinner.  Jason stir fried some chicken he had cut into strips as I cut up some pineapple and strawberries for later.  I told him I'd wanted to handle this pregnancy thing with peaceful grace as my body went from being and looking like that of a runner to something else entirely.  And before I got pregnant I just knew I'd be able to do that because it would be so wonderful to be having a baby!  I knew I was a tad vain but I had no idea it would lead to crying in Target!  Can I blame this on pregnancy hormones? 

I'm feeling better today.  I slept like a rock from 9:00pm to 5:00am without waking up once (I only ate 2 cookies after my chicken, broccoli and cauliflower).  I did my weights and pilates with Chance acting as a backrest (he was probably still concerned) and then got ready for work. And yes, as I write my iced cafe mocha is here beside me.  I know I'm blessed.  Even if all designers of maternity swimsuits should be fired and possibly yelled at in a public forum, I am still able to put it in perspective (at least for the moment).  I've got a super sweet husband, a precious baby girl on the way, and for now I am healthy as an ox (I have no idea where that saying came from... are oxen very healthy?).

So what do I do about the swimsuit issue?  Jason suggested running clothes.  My sister said she has some bigger swimsuits she doesn't wear that might work. Should I just buy a bigger non-maternity swimsuit?  I don't have to look like a supermodel, but I'd like to be able to comfortably shake (not show) my groove thang in Aqua Zumba and swim laps in public. I'd also prefer not to spend a thousand dollars on this effort either. Thoughts?  Suggestions?   HELP!