Messing Up Doesn't Mean Giving Up

It is Tuesday of my second week in the 21 Day Fix, and it is going so well, but I have learned that weekends are more challenging than weekdays. For me, anyway. Especially when a birthday and a wedding is involved. All was certainly not lost, though. I did my videos, I ran a little bit, and I stayed mostly on track with my diet. It was just harder and I didn't do as well with my eating as I was doing during the week.

Friday I got up and ran three miles...knowing what was in store for the morning. Jason was off, and we celebrated Eloise's 3rd birthday. I had my first cheat/processed food/sugar of the week on this occasion in the form of 6 donut holes. Heavenly. I had some scrambled eggs and some green tea with them so I wouldn't get all sugar crazy and then I moved on with my day.

Happy Birthday, sweet Eloise!

Around lunch time I went shopping with my mom to look for Eloise some flower girl shoes. She was going to be in my cousin's wedding the next day. This was not a problem, except I got hungry on my way to meet mom. I hate being hungry. Before we started shopping I got an order of grilled chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-a, and that was fine, but what I got to go with them was not. A sweet tea. Yep.  I have NO idea why I did that. I should have gotten the fruit and water. Oh well. I knew it wasn't a great decision, but I moved on.

The rest of the day I did well.  I didn't let messing up lead to giving up.  I did my video for that day and we all got ready for a busy Saturday of wedding fun.

Saturday I did well, despite how badly I wanted a piece of wedding cake.  I packed fruit, seeds, and nuts so I had plenty of healthy snacks and had another order of grilled chicken nuggets (no sweet tea this time) since lunch time found us on the road to the wedding. I decided I'd allow myself a piece of wedding cake (although why I decided I could have another cheat, I don't know), but when it came down to it, I decided against it. Instead, I thought we could stop at Starbucks on the way home and THAT would be my cheat.

Let me back up to say, I was up 4 hours in the middle of the night with my kids the night before... and then I had to hold my breath and wait in utter suspense to see if my three-year-old would, in fact, walk down the aisle in a wedding!  Oh. My. Word!  (She did. It was amazing and so very sweet, even if she did poke the bride in the bum at one point).  I was so exhausted on the way home and I still had a video to do. So Starbucks just made sense. But in an act of wonderful fate, we MISSED it, and I wasn't about to go looking for it with two sleeping babies in the car. We needed to make TIME!

My sweet flower girl and her cousin and bridesmaid, Caroline

I was getting frustrated.  I was so tired. I was hungry. I had to do my video. I didn't want to miss a day of working out and I didn't want to mess up anymore with my eating.  Then I remembered... I still had my Shakeology shake to look forward to!  YES!

We got home. Jason ran, and I had one piece of Ezekiel bread with avocado on it to fuel my workout. I made dinner (turkey taco salad) and then did my video (Dirty 30). Eloise and I enjoyed our delicious shake and my day was saved. Whew!

Sunday I headed to the store to stock up once again on all the good stuff. I packed my fridge full.  I enjoyed my Yoga Fix, and then Monday I started all over again.  After the total body cardio fix, I was not NEARLY as sore as the previous Monday.  And I'm still trucking along. Feeling good.  Enjoying good food, good workouts, and Shakeology. A few hiccups this weekend didn't derail me and for that I'm thankful. 

So what I'd say to anyone doing the 21 Day Fix or going after any health and fitness goal... Don't let messing up lead to giving up. Just get back on track and keep going!

4 Days In

I am 4 days in to the 21 day fix and my overall review is, so far so good! I know 4 days may seem a bit soon to be giving a report, but I am already seeing and feeling changes and it's pretty cool. I'm going to divide my reports up into three sections: Eating, Workouts, and How I Look/Feel.

Eating
I thought this part would be the hardest. I've been eating whatever I want for a LONG time, and I thought the cravings would be pretty strong. They haven't been!  It does take some thought, effort, and prep to make sure all the good stuff is on hand when I get hungry, but eating that instead of processed food and sweets has not felt hard at all. I've felt GREAT (but more on that later)!

It has been 4 days since I've had any processed sugar or coffee. Now, before you coffee lovers freak out, you CAN have coffee during this program. You just can't include all the stuff (cream and sugar) I want to put in mine. I have made the switch to green tea with honey, and I enjoy 2 cups a day with one (very generous) tablespoon of raw honey in each. Yesterday I was craving some coffee, so I put in my coconut creamer (which is not allowed, but coconut milk is*) and one packet of stevia. I almost spit out that first sip. I'm not a fan of any sugar substitute.  I thought I could do stevia, but I can't. It is in Shakeology, but the taste is not so strong and I really like my chocolate vegan shake each day. My coffee, however, was terrible. I immediately dumped it out and made myself a cup of green tea.

I have actually enjoyed this switch, however, I will not make this switch forever.  I just want to give this 21 Day Fix 100% to get optimal results. Then I will change things up in order to maintain. I may not have a cup every day, but eventually I will return to my sugar and half and half in my coffee, but I may not indulge every day.

Workouts
I'd say day 2 and 3 are the hardest regarding workouts. This is not so much because of the workouts themselves (although they are challenging), but because of the soreness I have felt going in to each one. Wow!  The first workout was fun and fast-paced and I was able to do it. I was pouring with sweat, but it was fun and over before I realized 30 minutes had gone by. By that afternoon, however, I was feeling it.  The run I tried to do with my class was VERY hard and I stopped after 2 miles.

The next two mornings were tough, but I knew it was important to push through that initial soreness. Once I got moving it wasn't so bad, and it loosened up all those sore muscles, which I think helped in the long run. Today, day 4, was the Pilates Fix, and I was sore, but not nearly as much as I have been. The workout was challenging, but it also felt really good. I think by tomorrow's Dirty 30 (yikes!) I'll be fresh and ready to ramp it up again.

How I Look/Feel
I feel really good. I was worried I'd feel tired and draggy, but I haven't.  In fact, I've been able to push through the afternoon slump with a cup of green tea. When I finally get my two anti-nappers to nap (a workout all its own) I have done chores and other tasks on my to-do list instead of wanting a nap myself.

I did make the decision to increase my calorie bracket so I could have a few more carbs because my two runs this week have felt REALLY hard and I think that is because I didn't have enough fuel. I'm not trying to go overboard, but I still want to run 3-4 times a week, even if it is only a few miles each time. One of my main reasons for doing this program is to benefit my running, so I don't want to hurt it in the process.

I also don't want to endanger my milk supply and I'm worried if I cut calories too much, I won't be able to continue feeding Matthew (who is hitting the 7 month mark soon!).  Since I'm not trying to lose weight, I think this adjustment is ok.  Especially since allowing myself more calories isn't giving myself permission to have junk, just allowing one more portion of the good stuff.

As far as how I look, my middle is already starting to tighten up.  That is a pleasant surprise for sure!  Only 4 days in and already seeing results?  I'll take it!

So far so good! I have no idea what the Dirty 30 workout has in store for me tomorrow, but I'm looking forward to it anyway!

*Coconut milk is a "cheat" of sort and replaces a portion of the yellow container (I think).

21 Day Fix

So I'm starting something new today and I'm excited about it.  It is the 21 Day Fix with Team Beachbody, and my sister, Jessi Pennington, is my coach. My goal is not really weight loss as it is to tone up areas (arms, abs, back) that aren't really targeted with running. I've dabbled in weights and pilates since getting pregnant with Matthew, but I can't seem to stick with it, and I really have no idea what I'm doing.  I've been doing workouts sporadically that I've found on Pinterest and while I've felt stronger, I haven't seen any results. My hope is that I will SEE some toned arms and abs, and I want to feel it as well. I'm hoping that strengthening these other areas will also benefit my running, making me stronger and eventually faster.

I've struggled a little with my desire to have a toned upper body, wondering if it really matters and if I'm just being vain. I'm healthy, I'm not overweight, I'm able to run and feel good chasing after my two little ones all day. It seems somewhat silly to want more, but I think if I keep it in its proper place priority-wise, it should be okay. And while I do want to look good, it is not my only motivation for doing the 21 Day Fix. I want to feel GREAT. I want to be healthy and STRONG. I want to cut out some of the sugar in my diet and replace it with better, more nutrient rich foods.

Since having Matthew in January, I've sort of given myself permission to eat whatever I want because I was nursing. I don't do too bad, but there is lots of room for improvement and that starts with the amount of sugar I allow myself each day. From what I pour into my coffee, to what is in my snacks, to what I indulge in at night, it is simply too much. I'm not a dieter, I prefer to simply eat in moderation, but with all I've read about sugar, it is a big, fat baddie when it comes to health.  I've even heard it referred to as "the white death."  A little dramatic, maybe, but I'd still like much less of it in my diet.

So I'm following the 21 Day Fix program to the letter. I purchased the chocolate vegan Shakeology (because of Matthew's dairy allergy), and I had my first shake this morning with half a banana in it.  Not bad!  I enjoyed my shake after my first 30 minute workout, the total body cardio fix. It was challenging for sure, but also fun and fast paced. I love the duration of the workouts because I know I can find 30 minutes each day to workout, and I know I'm a better, nicer, more patient person when I do.

I'm still planning to run 3-4 times a week. I can't give up my first love, that's for sure. But after seeing the results of my friends and family, I believe this program will get me the results I want if I stick to it. I am slightly concerned about the calories and if I start to drop weight or milk production, I may increase my portion allotment (how many of each colored container I can have) to make sure I can still nurse Matthew as much as I want.

And, in following the program to the letter, I have a "before" picture... even though I look like a dork. This is as much as I could show, so when I have rock solid abs, you'll just have to take my word for it.

If you'd like to join me, I can hook you up with my sister's info. She's amazing, and she already has a set of rock solid abs and totally toned arms. Since we are related, I figure I'm going to look exactly like her in 21 days. Just like this...

Photo credit to Adria Peaden (a fellow 21 Day Fixer!)

Long Runs, Humidity, and a Good Movie

Three weekends ago I did my first 14 miler in AGES and it was GREAT!  Absolutely perfect!  I had done 8 fast miles the day before and I was a tad nervous, but the weather was absolutely glorious, free of humidity, tasting of fall... glorious.  My friend, Shannon ran most of it with me and I ran the rest solo.

The next weekend I was to run 16.  I was nervous again.  This would be my longest run since finding out Eloise was a teeny tiny little person in my belly.  Two years or more.  But it went well!  The lovely fall weather had left, but it wasn't bad and I finished really strong with my fastest mile of that run being my last (I was giddy over making it and ready to squeeze my baby girl... and for coffee).

This weekend I wanted to do 16 again before I bump up to 18 next weekend.  I was not so nervous since I'd already done it, and my running girls joined me for bits and pieces of it, with my friend, Julia staying with me the entire way.  Never underestimate the power of good company on a long run!  I wanted to quit around mile 14 but Julia and Jan got me through.  It was SO HOT and HUMID!  I felt it more during this run than I have in any of the others and it was tough!  One of the other girls told me next weekend should be better weather-wise and I am hopeful.  Because today was tough and next weekend is 18!

Despite the humidity and a tough finish today, my mind is in a good place with these long runs.  It has been a LONG time since I've run long and I don't know about you, but when it has been so long I start to wonder if I can still do it.  It sounds impossible!  It seems too far!  But somehow it is getting done and I love it.  I'm thrilled and relieved and I feel like I'm returning to the runner I used to be.  Nothing overly impressive, mind you, but a good place for me.

With my marathon approaching October 5, I find myself wondering what goal is reasonable to have for it.  It is being couched into my 50 mile training so I'm not going to do much tapering for it.  I think my B goal will be to finish under 4:30 and my A goal will be the low 4s (4:05ish) and my A++++ goal would be under 4... but I haven't been running like that so its a long shot. 

And let's just say, in the meantime I am LONGING for fall.

In other news, we watched a really good movie last night.  I wasn't so sure at the beginning if I would like it or not, but once it got going, I started to.  It was Silver Linings Playbook and I think it won some awards or something.  Anyway, one of my favorite parts is when they are running and she runs out at him a few times and says, "HEY!" and scares him or startles him.  Then in one scene they argue about the running route and who should be running there and who needed to find another route.  Cracked me up.  It has some language and a few scenes I could do without, but I liked the overall storyline.  Especially the running parts.

My baby is awake and I must go snuggle!  Happy Labor Day weekend, friends!

A Deep Breath

I'm floundering a little.  It feels so hypocritical to write about how badly I want something and how I'm going after it, only to fizzle out after a month of training/base building.  July has kind of been all over the place with my mileage.  Last week was a bust.  I took 2 days off, and with no long runs, there is no way to make a 42 mile quota on 2 days off.  I will say on the days I did run, my legs were a little fresher and stronger, and I had a fantastic hilly 8 miler (with 14 bunny sightings), but I'm still feeling a bit discouraged.

We've entered the teething phase of baby-hood and there is nothing I can do but snuggle my little girl and be patient with her through it.  Really, she's doing quite well, she's just a little more fussy and irritable than usual and from time to time we have a bad night.  But overall she is still my funny, playful, happy girl only now she's got a snaggly grin with one tooth out and one making its way. 

Watching Eloise grow and change brings me joy every day.  She's a great baby and I am so blessed to have her.  So I feel really bad when I'm down and disappointed in my running when I've got Eloise and Jason and this wonderful life.  Talk about being ungrateful.  What bothers me is that I'm not seeing any improvement.  None!  Most runs are difficult and slow.  My legs feel heavy and a lot like jello most of the time.  Surely it can't be over-training with 42 miles a week - mostly 6 miles a day.  Can it?  Burnout already?  Jason says it is the hot, humid summer and it is always like this for both of us.  We slow down, we get through it, we focus on holding on until the temps improve.  Part of me knows this and part of me says I should be able to make it otherwise.  I should be able to tough it out.  I should be improving anyway. 

And part of me says, "GET OVER IT!"  It's just running after all, and as I always tell Jason, it is supposed to make life better, it is supposed to take stress away, not add to it.  I guess it is time to listen to what I know, not what I feel. 

In other, happier news, Eloise is approaching her first birthday and I am so excited!  I can't believe it is already here, and I'm planning a farm themed birthday party.  I have become the mother I've made fun of in my head - planning a big shindig for a baby who won't remember. However, now that I'm a mom I see that it is not only for her, but for her parents and family too.  It is a celebration of Eloise, not just for her.  I have had so much fun in the planning and getting ready for it. And I have no idea how we planned birthday parties before Pinterest. 

I'm also getting ready to teach a class at UAH!  I'll be the Walk/Jog/Run instructor this fall and I am so pumped!  I've got my syllabus finished and now I must work on the content. It may make our schedule a little crazy but I think it is worth it!  I love the Health and Physical Ed department at UAH and I am so thrilled to be a part of it!  Things are also going wonderfully with my clients.  They are reaching goals, training for new distances, running PR races... it is so exciting to see!  Even if it isn't me, it is an honor to help others get there! 

So really, I need to step back, take a deep breath and keep putting one foot in front of the other.  While my heart and body can't feel it yet, my mind knows what I'm building and what the results will eventually be.  I need to let go of the constant striving and embrace the joy around me - both in my life and with my running.  One step at a time, mile by mile, I will get there. 

My Motivational Speech to Myself

About a week after the Seaside Half-marathon, I realized I was going to have to be truly dedicated if I wanted to train for a marathon by April 27th.  My plan, since I didn't have loads of time for long runs, was to increase the weekly mileage and be somewhat gradual (somewhat not) with my long runs.  I wanted my mileage each week to reach 50 miles or more and I knew in order to do that I would have to run every day.  That would mean getting on the treadmill during Eloise's nap time.  It would mean getting outside on nice warm days with the jogging stroller.  It would mean getting up at 4:45a.m. and meeting the girls for a few miles, getting home by 6:00 a.m. so Jason could go for his run.

Commitment and dedication.  That is what it was going to mean to marathon train.  So I gave myself a motivation speech (a.k.a stern talking to) one Sunday afternoon while I was running. 

"You have to get serious about this if you don't want to be miserable April 27th. You've got to make yourself a training plan and really stick to it this time.  You just ran a half marathon so you can no longer look at yourself as a woman who just had a baby.  You must now look at yourself as a woman training for a marathon and go from there.  It is going to be hard, but you can handle hard.  You are going to be tired, sleep deprived, and you are not going to want to get on that treadmill.  But you have to.  You have to be committed.  You can do this."

So I came home and wrote out my training plan.  I kept it simple, writing the mileage I wanted in the top corner of each day on my calendar.  I took it one day at a time.  I tried not to focus on the 50 miles I wanted for the week, but only on that day's mileage.  Sunday I ran 6 slow and easy miles around my neighborhood.  Monday I got on the treadmill for 1.5 and then 3.5 as Eloise's naps allowed.  Tuesday I ran 8 while Mom babysat Eloise.  Wednesday I ran with my UAH 5k training group and I did a speed workout that Jason helped me create.  I ran 200, 200, 400 with equal rest 3 times with 1 mile warm-up and 0.2 cool down (I was hungry) for a total of 4.5 miles.  Thursday I did another 8 miles with Shannon.  Friday I forced myself to get in 5 miles at 5a.m. with my running girls.  I thought they were going to kill me.  Saturday I ran the Rocket Run 10 miler, with 2 miles warm-up and 2 miles cool down for 14 total miles, finishing a 50.5 mile week.

I did it.  I had to slow my pace so my body could withstand the 10+ mile increase for the week, but that was okay with me.

Yesterday started my second week of marathon training and I have 49 miles planned for the week, although it may end up being 50 because my speed workout on Wednesday bumps up the mileage.  Today I need 5 miles and I had planned to go with the girls this morning at 5:00, but I was up from 2:45-4:00 with Eloise.  Ha!  It is like she KNOWS when I need the sleep.  So I didn't go and, as always, I wish I had, but that is okay.  I am getting on that treadmill and getting it done.  I keep my motivational speech in my pocket and pull it out when my motivation wanes.  One day at a time...I will train for this marathon.

Thoughts Before the Race

My friend and client, Donna Hopper, included me in this e-mail yesterday and has allowed me to share it with you.  It is a sweet and powerful story of how running can help one cope, process, think, and heal.  It is the story of how running can transform both body and mind, and it is just another reminder to me of what a special gift it is in my life and in the lives of so many.  It is more than just running down the road and ending up right back where we started.  For many of us, we never find ourselves where we started, but in an entirely new and wonderful place altogether.

Here is Donna's letter:

March 4 will mark the one year anniversary of the day I had dreaded for so long.  The day that I knew would break my heart, and it did.  Dad lost his hard fought earthly battle and won his heavenly home.  I am happy that he will never suffer again, but I miss him so.

On March 3 I will run my first ½ marathon in his honor.  This was not a goal I set for myself, it happened in kind of an unusual and natural way.  After dad died, I would have been content to sit on the couch and watch TV.  It seemed I had a lot of time on my hands and I didn’t really know how to fill it.  But I also knew that sitting on the couch was a bad direction to take, so I started walking.  I would listen to books on tape or music.  Before too long, I was walking 5 miles a day.  So I decided to run a little and before long I was running a lot.  I had always hated running, but this time I did not hate it.  Every time I entertained the thought “I hate to run”, I replaced it with “I love to run, this feels great”.  The mind is a powerful thing and I do believe controlling our thoughts is very helpful. 

I did struggle with knee pain at first, and ultimately had knee surgery, which fixed me up!  Where usually that would have been the end to the running, I could not wait to start back up.  My surgeon was very supportive, saying my knees were in fine shape to run.  So while rehab tested my tendency to be impatient, I endured it and was running again before too long.  Aches and pains and little injuries along the way have been annoyances but I haven’t wanted to quit.  My doctor says “that’s great, although unusual at your age” – now that’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are!

This is all I know about grieving:

1.  Everyone does it in their own way.

2.  There is no right or wrong way.

So many people have been supportive during this journey and I am so thankful.  My running buddies have made it so much fun, and have been great encouragement.  Jane Reneau has been a great coach.  And Gary has supported me every step of the way – he has always known there was an active person hiding in there.

But I am also thankful to the non-runners who have supported me.  You see, when family or friends say “I think you’re crazy but I’ll support you because it’s important to you”, that is the true expression of love.  There are so many people among my family and friends who have shown that kind of support.  I am very blessed.

So as I get ready to head to Seaside, I realize as I do every single day, that I am among all women very blessed.  If you have received this email, I count you as one of those blessings, and I love you!

 

Day 1 of Week 1

Okay, so my core workout streak died at 5 days.  Yep.  I flat out forgot to do it on day 6 and that had the affect I knew it would... I didn't do it on day 7.  Ha!  However, I am not giving up!  I read an article about ab work that said one should not do it every day because muscles need time to adapt and strengthen. I knew that but didn't really think I was tearing them down overly much.  The article also said that it isn't the surface core muscles that need the attention (which are supposedly what crunches work), but the muscles under them.  I knew that too from my personal trainer class, hence the pelvic tilt/kegel-ish exercise.  And finally, the article said that you don't need more sets, but harder moves.  That I didn't know.

Now, I may still get on the floor some evenings and do some of these exercises anyway, but that will not be the only attention I am giving to this area.  I have started Jillian Michaels' "Ripped in 30" workout.  I bought this video way back when I bought two others, but I hadn't tried it until today.  There are 4 weeks of 20 minute workouts which are to be done 5-6 times a week.  Each week the workout changes and gets harder. I did week 1 today and it was tough but not too much, so I know I'm starting in a good place.

I think I can stick with this.  I plan to, anyway.  These workouts will not take the place of my half-marathon training so this should be interesting.  But here's the thing.  I only have a month and a half left to train.  That seems mighty short when it comes to achieving the PR I want.  I'm feeling like I was a little ambitious, especially when I have a teething baby girl whose sleep schedule has gone wonky causing my own to do the same.  Still, why not go for it?  Why not put it all out there?  Jason told me over dinner the other night that I had to be willing to fail big if I wanted to go for it.  He said he thought I could give way more than I do when I run and that I needed to embrace the pain (I prefer to call it discomfort).  He's right.  I conserve.  I play it safe.  I train and then I perform and I can make the goal... but my goals are getting tougher and they are going to call for more drastic measures.

There may be a few things stacked against me.  Crazy sleep schedules, crazy southern weather (it is now very cold and rainy instead of warm and rainy), working running around Eloise's schedule and the schedules of my babysitters.  I still think it can be done, though, and I intend to go after it.  I enjoy it and I want to get back in shape.  Most of the baby weight is gone but there are still a few stubborn pounds hanging on and that is why I have brought Jillian back on board.

My favorite quote of the day from her video. "What's that smell?  That's fat burning!"  She cracks me up.

Feeling Good During Pregnancy

While I think there is no way to flat out guarantee feeling great during pregnancy, I do think we can increase our chances significantly by what we do and eat while pregnant.  Because we are all so different and our bodies react differently to growing a little one, I can't say if a woman eats right and exercises regularly she will feel great throughout, but I do think doing those things has the potential to help immensely, and I use my own experience as proof (while recognizing I am not a doctor and can't speak for all women).

In regards to pregnancy and exercise it has been very important to me to stay active, and I believe I have been reaping countless benefits from this.  Of course, I'm not sure what it would be like had I not been exercising like I have due to genetics and how my body works, but I really think exercise has played a key role in staying healthy and feeling great during this pregnancy.

Here's a list of the common pregnancy symptoms I have not had so far (and I say so far because I have a month to go!):

1. No swelling. Not even when we flew to and from Idaho last week.
2. Very little back pain. I only have it when I sit still too long and sometimes when I lie down.
3. No constipation. TMI maybe, but my book promised me I would and I have not (whew!).  I think that is due to drinking plenty of water, eating right, and exercise (but that is only my opinion).
4. Most of the time I sleep well. I do have to get up and use the bathroom 2-3 times a night, but with exercise each day, I am pleasantly tired and can fall asleep easily most nights.
5. Low blood pressure.  Every 4 weeks then every 2 weeks my blood pressure has been taken at the doc and it is almost exactly what it was before pregnancy.
6. Energy!  I'm not saying I'm as energetic as I was before pregnancy, but I really believe a regular exercise routine has helped me hold on to a little bit more than I would have otherwise.  My pregnancy books and websites agree with this theory, stating that even a little exercise gives energy.
7. Very little heartburn.  I've had it a few times, but I can count them on my fingers.  I'm not sure, however, how much of this one can control other than eating foods that don't lend themselves to this symptom.
8. Reasonable weight gain.  Again, this is strictly supposition on my part because I'm not sure how much of this one can control during pregnancy.  I do find it odd when women say pregnancy gives them an "excuse to get fat" (and yes, I've heard this multiple times)!  I have never in my life heard of anyone wanting that excuse...especially with all the pills, diet plans, exercise fads, etc. that are so popular these days.  I also believe the whole "eating for two" thing is a misnomer because pregnant women really only need 300 more calories in the beginning of their pregnancies and 500 more in later months.  That is not another person's worth of food.  What I'm trying to say is that even though weight gain IS going to happen, it may be possible to keep it reasonable and at least FEEL good in the process.  And feeling good based on what you eat and do each day also applies to those who are not pregnant. 

I'm not trying to pat myself on the back here or get a pat from anyone else.  What I am trying to do is tell you IT IS SO WORTH IT!

The temperature has been in the triple digits here this summer and I am almost 35 weeks pregnant.  People shake their heads and look at me with pity when they realize the state of things, but I can honestly say they have NOT been bad.  Sure, I think I could do more outside if it were cooler and maybe run a bit more too.  BUT, I can go for walks, I can swim at the Y, I can do light weights, pilates, and yoga at home... the options are there if I will take them.  I can do an hour all at once or 30 minutes twice a day, and I LOVE the results! 

So, fellow moms-to-be, give that some thought.  Feeling good.  What is it worth to you?  Thirty minutes of exercise a day?  Passing up those french fries for a side of fruit instead?  Having energy to make it through a long work day?  Possibly a better labor experience and recovery?  I know we can't choose everything about our pregnancies, but we can choose what we put in our bodies and how much exercise we get.  So what will it be?

What Would You Attempt...

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

The other day I was recording a course called Rotocraft Fundamentals and at the very end the instructor showed a video.  I can't find the video itself (it is DEFINITELY worth a watch), but this is the synopsis here. It was an amazing speech and the speaker (Regina Dugan, Director of DARPA) was talking about flight and other technological advances. As soon as I heard that quote, I (of course) thought about running...and then I thought about motherhood.  And then I thought about all the other things in my life I was afraid to do.  Here is an excerpt on the TED website about the speech:

If you want to understand how, ask yourself this question, ”What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” It’s an uncomfortable question, because it forces you to realize that the fear of failure holds you back. The path to new and innovative things always contains failure, but we’re constantly afraid of it — we have to get over that fear. Dugan quotes Clemenceau, “Life gets interesting if you fail, because it means we’ve surpassed ourselves.”

If you took fear of failure out of the equation, what would you attempt to do?  Running a new distance or going for a marathon PR can be intimidating.  I don't know why, but we humans like to first think about all the reasons we cannot do something before we even give it a go.  I used to assure Jason that I would never qualify for Boston because that was just way beyond my ability as a runner.  And then I broke 4 hours.  And then I ran a 3:45.  They've moved the qualifying time now, giving me an even faster time to run, but even so I have begun to doubt my doubts.  I read about other women my age who have done it and I can't for the life of me figure out what they have that I don't... except maybe belief that they could do it.

Motherhood is another one.  That's just downright terrifying, especially if you take a look at what is going on in the world, in our country, in our schools, in our homes, in our neighborhoods... and that doesn't even take into account whether or not I'll be any good at it. But if I knew I couldn't fail...if I knew I'd make a great mom and have a wonderful relationship with my daughter one day - similar to the one I have with my mom, then you bet your buttons I'd give it a go.  In order to even consider it, I had to shift my gaze to the moms I admire and say to myself, "I can do that."  I have to let go of my fear. Which, I guess you can say I did, but it is not without its moments of sheer panic as I realize there is no going back now!  (They are brief moments, but they are there all the same).

When I was about to marry Jason, I had a moment of panic.  I had a few, in fact, and it is amazing that he didn't throw in the towel and tell me to take off if that is what I really wanted (it wasn't, and thankfully he didn't say that).  He stuck with me through my doubts and attempts to back out, through my tears and fears and worries.  My mom was aware of them too and one day she gave me something.  It was a cheap plastic faux rock on which was written, "Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down."  After that I stopped doubting.  I stopped questioning and worrying and asking "what if."  I married Jason, and that has been the best decision of my life to date.  That faux rock still sits on my bedside table by the way, and I still read it as if for the very first time.

It is when we let go of our fear of failure that amazing things happen.  Dugan explains many of these amazing things and also all the failures it took to get there.  The first flight lasted a few seconds...and now look at what we are able to do. But I think it applies to more than amazing technological advances, although in my lifetime I've certainly benefited from many of these.  I think it applies to our own life decisions.  It applies to our belief in ourselves.

And even if we do fail, which we will, if it truly means we have already surpassed ourselves, can it really be considered failure at all?  I'm going to make mistakes as a mom and it is going to get hard.  I am going to run several more marathons before I qualify for Boston and it is going to be challenging.  But letting go of the fear and trying it in the first place is worth it!

So ask yourself that question and see what your answer is.  If I were you, I'd take that answer and run with it (literally if needed).

New Roaring Running Song

This morning Jason got up a little earlier than usual so I had some time to lie in bed and contemplate a run of my own.  I knew the morning temps (50) would feel a lot better than 75 later in the afternoon, but I wasn't sure what my legs were going to have in them at 5:45 a.m.  It was so peaceful and comfortable in the quiet of my bedroom with birdsong and chilly air coming in through my open window. I could always run this afternoon...

Then I heard this whisper...the words of a song I'd heard on the radio the day before and promptly downloaded to my ipod.  God's not dead, He's surely alive.... 

I hopped up and put on my running digs.  A long sleeved shirt and running shorts, with a thin pair of gloves.  I strapped on my Garmin and got my ipod shuffle ready to go.  As I started my warm-up walk and my new song, the sun was just starting to come up and the air was cool and crisp.

Let love explode and bring the dead to life 
A love so bold to see a revolution somehow...

I cut my warm-up short and started to jog.  My route began to climb uphill but the words kept me going strong...

Now I'm lost in your freedom
And this world I'll overcome

MY GOD'S NOT DEAD HE'S SURELY ALIVE!  He's living in the inside, roaring like a Lion!

The sun rose higher, lighting up my neighborhood like fire with a backdrop of vibrant blue with a few patches of white.  Birds were everywhere doing their springtime dances, flowers were blooming in almost every yard... it was a simple neighborhood scene, but it was a beautiful one and I felt the words that played in my ears as I ran.

My God's not dead, He's surely alive.  He's living on the inside roaring like a lion!

I could see Him all around me.  I could feel Him inside.  Roaring.  I knew Him to be there in the little miracle growing inside me, in my feet that kept pace with the beat of this powerful song.  I knew the words to be true and it was such a wonderful thing to know!

If you haven't already heard it, give it a listen.  See if it doesn't make you want to move your feet and do a little roaring as well.

The Best Running Advice

I'm usually not one to give running advice unless I am asked.  Many runners do ask me, but many also have their own way of doing it and that is what works for them.  I don't interfere.  Even if I listen and hear what I'd consider a running myth or a quick way to get injured, I stay out of it unless asked.  I don't know everything about the human body or about running, so my little bit of knowledge stays quiet unless requested. 

However, the Saucony "Find Your Strong" contest has asked about the greatest running advice you've ever received.  I wanted to answer so I sat there and thought about it for a minute.  There are all kinds of awesome, encouraging slogans out there that spur me on.  Mantras I've used to get tougher, reminders that make me feel strong, you've heard them.  But I was trying to imagine REAL running advice.  Something practical to actually use when training or trying to improve.

I naturally thought of Jason.  One of the things that brought us together was that we were both runners.  We started dating right around the Rocket City Marathon in 2006, and we both got PRs in that race.  His was a 2:55.  Mine was a 4:55.  Since then he has gotten his marathon time down to a 2:38 and I have gotten mine down to a 3:45. 

Jason is also not one to give unsolicited advice.  In fact, he doesn't really talk about what he does at all.  He is content to quietly go about his business, training and pushing himself, and he doesn't feel the need to share what he does, why, or how.  He is always glad to help another runner if asked, but he won't volunteer the information.  I like that about him.  I liked it when we started dating and when we got married.  He knew if and what I ran each day.  He knew my goals.  He knew my weaknesses, my doubt, and my questions about my own ability.  But the most he'd ever say was usually in response to me claiming I could never do this or that.  He'd always say, "Why not?"  It was never a question I could answer.  Eventually I quit saying I could never run a certain pace or go a certain distance. I started asking myself "why not?"  If I had no answer, I moved forward and let myself imagine it, dream of it, move it around in my mind a little while. 

I learned some running advice from Jason, not only by what he said but also by what he did. Jason runs every single day.  Sunday through Saturday.  He runs the day after a marathon.  He runs the day after an Ironman (usually with me, which is fun).  Eventually, I started doing the same.  I began to run more often.  After a year or so, I began to run almost every day.  I ran after a marathon.  It was short and slow, but it was good.  When training for relays or ultras, I'd sometimes run more than once a day.  This is when things began to change.  I began to run faster automatically.  I wasn't trying to run faster, I just...did.  So I went from running 3-5 miles a day to 6-10 miles a day.  I wasn't doing speed work, I wasn't doing pace work...I was just running.  Every day. 

So I've taken the long way around telling you my running advice, but I wanted to tell you where I got it, how I got it, and why I believe it is true.  Here is what I submitted to the Saucony, "Find Your Strong" weekly contest:

Your greatest training tool is consistency.  Get out there and run every day if you want to get better.

I have seen, heard and learned this from Jason, and I have used it myself with amazing results.  I've seen my morning running crew girls practice consistency, and I tell my clients this when they run 1 to 2 times a week and ask why it is not getting any easier.  For new runners, I don't suggest running every single day, but if they stick with me and my plan that is where they would be headed eventually.  Speed and pace work is not something we touch until they have a good endurance base built that is appropriate for their fitness level and goal event. 

The greatest running advice I have ever seen or heard is to be consistent.  My amazing husband taught me that and I am still using it today.  I plan to use it to break my current 3:45 marathon PR and I believe I can do it.  I plan to use it to run a better 50 mile race.  I plan to use it to get off the baby weight.  I plan to attempt to instill it in my clients as my main and first method when beginning a new training program.  It is such a powerful tool.  If you are an experienced runner, you probably already use it too.  If you aren't, I'd challenge you to start.  Start with running 3-4 times a week and do something else physical the other days.  Give yourself an easy day or two, but easy doesn't mean sedentary.  Gradually move to 4-5 times a week and then try a week once in a while when you run all 7 days.  The results will be amazing and wonderful.  It WILL feel better and it WILL get easier.  You WILL improve and it will seem so natural. 

Consistency.  That's my running advice. 

I Dream Strong

Finish line of Mercedes Marathon, 2011

Have y'all seen the new "Find Your Strong" slogan by Saucony?  I first noticed it on Dailymile, and I really like it.  Saucony is one of my favorite shoe and apparel brands, and I love this new slogan too.  To me it encompasses exactly what I feel about running.  Running is my way of finding my own inner strength.  My inner strength is mine alone and it cannot be compared to others because it is about what makes me feel strong, what motivates and inspires and gives me purpose.  It encompasses the reasons I run and the joy I get from it.  It encompasses my personal goals and achievements in my beloved sport.  It is my very own strong.

So for a few days I've been thinking on it.  I wish I would have gotten a move on sooner and entered a post run picture in the current contest.  Monday night's run would have been perfect for such a picture.  It was one of those perfect afternoons and I'd been feeling the itch to get out and run in it all day.  I wanted to run a little farther than I had been, just to see if I still could at almost 23 weeks pregnant.  I wanted it to feel good, close to normal even.  I started out with my usual 2 minute warm-up walk and then I started running.  I got into a good groove around 2 miles, stopped for a quick bathroom break and then ran 3 more.  That second 3 miles were heavenly.  There was a nice cool breeze, a sunset, a favorite new song on my iPod, and my legs felt like they could go all day.  When I finished, I wanted to keep going but I didn't want to overdo so I called it and stretched a little.  I smiled as I did so, and maybe that was my "strong" face.

My finish time was 50:28 with my last 4 miles being slightly sub 10 minute pace.  If I had cut out the 2 minute warm-up, I might have managed an overall average of under 10, but that warm-up helps me so much that I knew it needed to stay.

As I finished my run, I felt strong.  I felt good.  I felt proud that I could still run and feel like that in the middle of my first pregnancy and in that moment it didn't matter what other women were able to do.  All that mattered was that I could run a good 5 miler at 23 weeks pregnant and enjoy it thoroughly.

These days when I run, I daydream of future events.  I dream of sub 3:45 marathons and another 50 mile ultra.  When I'm on mile 3, I pretend I'm on mile 30 and still feeling great.  I dream of an amazing race where I finish and I am blown away by the experience.  I dream of running and racing well.  I dream of running strong for a new little one who resides in my heart, giving me strength simply by her existence.  I dream strong. 

Chances are, if you've been a runner for any amount of time, you've had similar dreams.  A longer race, a faster race, a little bit more, a greater challenge... I think it is this activity that keeps us going, that keeps the adventure fun and endless.

So get out there and dream strong.  Find your strong and get after it.  Don't get caught up in comparing it to others and seeing it as small.  Just find your strong and keep dreaming.

Age Old Running

The other night as we were warming up before a tempo run, a client asked me how long I had been a runner.  I told him I started running when I was 15.  After I thought about it, I realized that my running years outnumbered my non-running years, which means I've been a runner longer than I haven't been.  I kinda like that.  And when I think about all that has changed from the beginning to the middle to now... it is pretty exciting.  I wonder what else I will do, how far will I go, what new adventures are around the corner and I am filled with hope and anticipation.

I see so many women who are a little older and a lot older than I am, and they are doing the most amazing things.  It is so inspiring to see that so many women are still going strong after so many years of running.  Not only that, they are still improving, still pushing their limits to greater heights.

My mom started running when she was 36 and she ran her first marathon when she was 44.  Since then she has run a marathon in all 50 states and 60 before the age of 60.  And at 61, she's still running them!  She's still training her friends to push past their limits and she is a constant inspiration to all who know her.

I work with a lady who is in her late 60s and I see her out running most mornings when I am running with my girls. She also runs the Huntsville Half Marathon every year and I always love seeing her finish.  I hope I am doing that when I am 67.

The oldest member of our morning crew is 49 and she is one of the fastest in our group.  She has qualified and run the Boston Marathon and has also qualified for the New York Marathon.  I call her the "pixie runner" because that is what she looks like when she runs and she shimmies up a hill like it is a flat stretch of road. 

Another of our running crew has a sister on the USA Ultra Marathon team.  I never even knew they had a team until she told me and when I looked them up I discovered that Debra Horn is on the team and she was born in 1959.  If you look at what is listed as her "career highlights" she has done quite a lot in the last few years.  When asked why she runs she said, "Running is a great stress-reliever and keeps me feeling young." I'd say so! The other athlete bios for the team are pretty impressive and inspiring as well.

So there you have it.  You are never too old to start running and you are never too old to try something new and you are never too old to improve.  These are things I hold close to my heart as I dream and hope and plan and look forward to the years and the miles to come.

Mom after her 50th marathon state, Hartford, Connecticut 2008

A Rockin' Running Playlist

While I love running with my girls or enjoying the quiet peacefulness of a morning run with a gorgeous sunrise as my company, sometimes this girl needs a little boost.  Sometimes when the morning is super cold or super windy or super rainy or all three combined, I need a little something extra to make me feel...well...for lack of a better phrase, bad ass.  And in order to get my "bad ass" on, I have a little playlist to help me.

A few friends and clients have requested some songs for their own playlists and so I am including mine here.  May it give you just the boost you need to get you out the door when you are missing that extra bit of motivation!

If you don't see one of your faves on this list, please include it in the comments section!

I'll start with my newest top two.  These are my current faves that get me going.

1. Blackout - Breathe Carolina.  "I'm only getting started!  I won't blackout!" They aren't talking about running but... it fits doesn't it!

"This won't stop till I say so...this won't stop till I say so!"

2. Good Feeling - Flo Rida.  This would be a great pre-race song. 


3. Stronger - Mandisa.  Very powerful lyrics.  I first heard about this song from Katie but it wasn't until I heard it on the radio and really felt the words that I added it to my list.

4. International Love - Pitbull (featuring Chris Brown).  "Don't test me boy...."  See, even if I'm a 32 year old woman with a tiny puff of a pony tail bouncing around behind me, that makes me feel bad ass.

5. Marry the Night - Lady Gaga.  I'm a warrior queen.  And so are you.

6. We Found Love - Rihanna.  Love this beat.

7. Breathing - Jason Derulo.  This is another one with a great beat and I like the chanting in it as well.

8. Turn Me On - Nicki Minaj and David Guetta.  "Make me come alive!"

9. You Make Me Feel - Cobra Starship.  "I'm the baddest baby in the atmosphere."  See, she feels it.

10.  Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes. A very steady beat and I just love this one.

11. Hold Me Together - Royal Tailor.  "I'm getting stronger with You by my side..."

12. Lights (Bassnector Remix) - Ellie Goulding. 

13. Welcome to the Club - Manian.  Dance music with a great beat.

14. Black Betty - Ram Jam.

15. The Story of Us - Taylor Swift.

16. Best Love Song - T-Pain.  This is a good one to start your run.

17. Don't Wanna Go Home - Jason Derulo.  No, you don't wanna go home. You wanna RUN!

18. Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO.  "Shake that."

19. Tonight - Toby Mac.  This is one of my all time faves.  Fast and furious, I sometimes have to play it twice.

20. On the Floor - Jennifer Lopez.  "If you're a criminal, kill it on the floor."

21. Blow - Ke$ha.  I know.  Don't judge.

22. Light up the Sky - the Afters. Another powerful one that makes me so thankful to be out running.

23. Take me back - Taio Cruz

24. Higher - Taio Cruz

25. No Other One - Taio Cruz.  As you can see, I like several of his. 

26. Avalanche - Manafest.

27. Club Can't Handle Me - Flo Rida.  The road can't handle me either. 

28. Raise Your Glass - P!nk.  Are you wrong in all the right ways?  You're probably a runner.

29.  DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love - Usher.  This title cracks me up. 

30. Dynamite - Tiao Cruz.  Yep.  Dynamite.

31. La La La - Auburn (featuring Iyaz). 

32. Beautiful Monster - Ne-yo.

33. Monday Morning - Melanie Fiona

34. Awake and Alive - Skillet.  I don't need to explain this one.

35. More - Usher.  "I'm a beast, I'm an animal, I'm that monster in the mirror..."

36. Misled - Kool and the Gang.  An oldie but a goodie!

37. Do You Remember - Jay Sean. 

38. The Olympic Spirit - John Williams & Boston Pops.  This one is amazing.  I feel triumphant every time I hear it.

39. The Battle - Gladiator Soundtrack.  This one is powerful.  Good for those really tough (and triumphant) days.

40.  Russion Privjet - Basshunter.  This is sort of trance, sort of dance and a great beat!

41. Kernkraft 400 (Sport Chant Stadium Remix) - Zombie Nation.  If you've seen a football game lately, you know this one.

42. Desert Rose - Sting

43. Fire Burning - Sean Kingston. "She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor..."  Or on the road.

44. Unbreakable - Fireflight.  Need I say more?  This one truly makes you feel it.

45. O...Saya - Slum Dog Millionaire Soundtrack.  "Like a ninja, with speed I'm nifty..."

Cool down Songs

46. Beautiful Ending - Barlow Girl

47. Enchanted - Taylor Swift

48. Not Over You - Gavin DeGraw

49. The One that got Away - Katy Perry

50. Set Fire to Rain - Adele

And for your Bonus Track: Eye of the Tiger - Survivor.  This is a classic. 

Remember to listen responsibly while you run!  Keep the volume reasonable and stay aware of what is going on around you!  Also make sure to check race rules before using headphones in a race.

Happy listening!

Running and Writing

"Like writing, running is so much about mind over matter.  There are times when you have to override the discomfort and keep pushing. That capacity to endure and then prevail is just amazing."  - Susan Orlean, Author and New Yorker staff writer

I saw this quote on Facebook today and it said exactly what I oftentimes feel about both running and writing.  As I've mentioned before I absolutely love to write.  My love of running has simply given me plenty of material to write about and so the two, for me, have gone hand in hand for quite a while.  The more I wrote and the more I ran, the more stories I had to tell.  I think pushing myself to tell of these running experiences, relationships, lessons, etc. has made me a better writer, just as training even when I don't feel like it has made me a better runner.

There are days when a runner has to override discomfort, the desire to sit this one out.  And some might argue that running should be fun or there is no point (I agree with that for the most part), but sometimes the training, pushing, overriding, and overcoming is part of that fun.  I really enjoy having a goal that gets me out there every morning and requires me to run certain distances and aim for certain paces.  I also enjoy when I can simply run for fitness, pleasure, and a good chat with a friend or two (or seven) before work each day. 

Either way, it is a journey well worth the effort.

The quote above also made me think of my friends and fellow local runners who will be running the Rocket City Marathon on Saturday.  Many are entering their very first marathon, many are going for a personal record, and some are there to help runners from both groups achieve their goal.  Saturday will be one of those days where they have to override the discomfort and keep pushing.  They will have to endure for a little while in order to prevail.

Many of these runners I know, some I just know of, and countless others I know not at all, but I feel an excitement and anticipation for all of them.  The weather Saturday is predicted to be absolutely perfect for marathon running and I wish all the runners out there the very, very best on their race day.  Get out there and PREVAIL!  (Maybe that's a good mantra word...)  

A Runner's Quotable Quotes

As I've mentioned before, now that I'm down to the wire I've been doing a lot of worrying about the upcoming 50 Mile.  The end of November signals the end of my training and as many runners do, I begin to question and doubt what I've done up to that point.

Well, I've got some pretty good running friends and because of them (and some lunch-time running website browsing) I came across some very encouraging quotes. 

The first I found on the Run the Edge blog, and while the writer, Adam Goucher, is on an entirely different level than I am, our feelings about the start line of a race are very similar.  He described it perfectly in his post.  Here are the bits that spoke to me.

I have always craved starting lines. Starting lines have a magnetic pull for me. Even more than the finish, I crave the start.  I yearn to toe that line and measure myself not only against my competitors and the clock, but also against my previous limits.  Starting lines represent hope. They represent a dream, and all the preparation it took to get there.

I believe starting lines give you a purpose. When you stand at the line before the start of a race you know exactly what you want to do. You have a direction and a goal. During the race you are fulfilling that purpose with each stride and each breath. You are constantly striving to do exactly what you set out to do before the race began.

Maybe what he says here can help me answer the age-old question of non-runners, "Why?"  Hope. A dream. Purpose.  That's why.

The next quote I received from my dear friend, Julia, who sent me a link to Kristin Armstrong's blog on the Runner's World website.  Kristin has also been training for a 50 mile race and I think hers is very soon.  In her article she quoted Keith Pippin and his article, "Rules for Being an Ultrarunner." 

When you run, there are no mistakes, only lessons. The art and science of ultra running is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The failed experiments are as much a part of the successes as the combination that eventually works.

Lessons will be presented in various forms and intensities. Each lesson will be repeated until it is learned. When you have learned one lesson you will be presented with another.

The learning of lessons does not end. There is no part of your running experience that does not contain lessons. Each time you run there are lessons to be learned.

As you advance to greater challenges, you will continue to gain knowledge of yourself. Periodically you will be required to reach ever deeper in to your inner being, seeking out the strength needed to continue the endeavor of the moment. The strength you seek is layered within. The number of layers in infinite. All you have to do is believe, have faith in yourself, and expect to find that which you seek.

And finally, this morning after a run with Katie and Tracey, Katie and I talked about the usual worry that always accompanies the end of one's training.  I thought it was kind of funny as we switched roles and she told me exactly what I told her as she approached her Chicago Marathon and a 3:15 marathon finish time.  She reminded me to have confidence in my training so far and not to scramble now, trying to fit in last minute things in an effort to catch up with whatever I thought I had not done (my paraphrase).  Even though I knew these things in my head, it helped so much to hear them from her.  She knows exactly how I'm feeling and exactly how to help, just as Julia found an article that might help me and sent it my way.

I'm so thankful for good running friends and for great runners who have shared their knowledge and experience with the rest of us.  I hope you too, dear reader, can find some encouragement from these runner quotable quotes.

Get Fired Up!

I think I have always been an enthusiastic person, maybe even annoyingly so at times.  When I love something, enjoy something or when I am moved by something, I get excited about it.  Lots of words, smiles, exclamation points, hand gestures - the works. 

One of the things I'm enthusiastic about is running (GASP).  Sure there are a lot of factors that go into that such as health and fitness, time with God, witnessing nature, and the way I've seen it change my life and the lives of others.  But there is also the simplicity of going out for a run, feeling strong, pushing the pace, sweating and feeling good afterward.  I love that.

Today, Life is Good posted a quote on Facebook that said, "Enthusiastically do what fills you with enthusiasm."  For some reason, when I read this, it was like receiving permission to love what I love and to do what I love, and that it is okay to be enthusiastic about running. 

By Tuesday of this week, distance running and training had come up in conversation twice and both times I received strange looks and the question, "why?" asked in that way that says, "that's ridiculous."  I didn't really defend it and I didn't really answer the question either.  I just smiled and moved on to the next topic.  But on my run last night, I thought, "why not?"  What else am I supposed to be doing?

Life can be so boring and mundane sometimes.  Filled with long work hours sitting at a desk inside a building, people's words and opinions that are unpleasant, arguing, jealousy, ugliness, arrogance, time spent doing things that don't really matter, making tough decisions...but if I started the day running into a sunrise or if I know I'm going to conclude it with a run on a gorgeous fall afternoon... it makes it all seem okay, maybe even easier.  And for those moments when I'm out there - just me, maybe some songs on my ipod or a friend, running, breathing, feeling free - it is wonderful!  I can be whoever I want, think whatever I want, run wherever I want, dream, hope, pray, think, be.  I can just be.

And then there's that feeling of accomplishment after a race.  For me, this comes after a half-marathon, marathon, or ultra when I feel for a moment that I have transcended the human condition.  I have taken my body, created for me by God, and I have made it strong and powerful.  I have done more than I ever believed possible.  I have overcome weakness, I have been brave, I have held on when it was tough.  These are things I strive to do in my daily life but how often am I really successful?

So there is a small piece of the "why".  Because I do believe we should enthusiastically do what fills us with enthusiasm.  Life is really too short to do anything else.  Life really is good, and for me getting outside and running around helps me see that. 

What are you enthusiastic about?  Are you going after it?  I hope so!

Sunrise Surprise

This morning when the alarm went off, it was a little harder to get out of bed.  I hadn't made plans with my girls, so I had no one to which I'd be accountable.  No one but myself and how I'd feel later in the day when the rain came and I had not run.  I knew I'd be mad at myself so up I got.  Eventually.

It was a little later than usual but still dark in the house.  I was not looking forward to a solo run in the dark, but figured I'd stay in my neighborhood until it got light enough for me to feel comfortable venturing out. I changed into my running digs, strapped on my watch, and kissed my sleeping husband good-bye before leaving.  The morning was chilly, but not cool enough to warrant more than a short sleeved top and shorts.

I walked lazily to the end of my driveway as I usually do, started my watch and turned right.  And there it was.  The purple and dull pink of a sunrise.  A brand new, just beginning sunrise.  With the morning darkness as the only thing coming in my bedroom windows, I had assumed it was still completely dark outside.  This newly awakened sunrise was a beautiful surprise.

I turned my ipod to my current warm-up song, "Hold Me Together" by Royal Tailor, and ran facing east with the words of this song playing sweet and low in my ears.  It was yet another of those magical morning moments and I soaked it in.

I faced east for quite a while so that I was constantly running into the ever changing and brightening sky.  It was brilliant to watch.  It unfolded and unfurled until it eventually exploded into an amazing neon orange across the sky.  It was as if God had taken his pack of oils dipped his thumb into the neon carrot shade and smeared it across the sky.  With love.  For me. (If you know your Crayola crayons, you know what color that is.)

As I turned north, I glance several times to my right, afraid to miss one second of this light show.  Even looking straight ahead, however, it was hard to miss as the bright orange spread across the entire sky like a spilled bucket of paint, smudging into hues of pink and red at the edges.  With a backdrop of a light blue morning sky, this view was breathtaking.

Due to my late start, I had to hurry home and start the mad rush that was getting ready for work.  It was worth it, though.  My sunrise surprise had made my day and I had visions of it throughout with the words of my warm-up song still singing gently in my ears.

I'm feeling stronger with You by my side

I realize You are my Home... 

Signs and Celebrations

I've written before about my amazing group of running friends.  I cannot even describe how much they bless my life. One thing I love about our group is how we support each other.  If someone is going through a rough time, the prayers and encouragement are unending.  If someone has something to celebrate, it is like having our own personal fan club.  From babies to marriages to injuries and triumphs, we are there through it all.  The funny thing is, most of us only see each other in the wee early morning hours of each day when we are running.  It is comical when we run in to each other at the grocery store or bagel shop and are shocked to see each other so fixed up.  It is almost like, "Wow, I had no idea you looked like that!" 

Being that running is the first thing that brought us all together, we share in each others goals, training plans, worries and triumphs when it comes to racing.  We know each others PRs.  We know each others upcoming races.  We know about each others training and the challenges faced along the way.  And I know for me, I get invested.  So as one of my girls approach their first half-marathon, or a hopeful PR marathon, I am excited and nervous and hopeful and sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for news.  I'm pretty sure I can safely say I'm not the only one who feels this way.

We all got to experience this recently with our friend, Katie.  Katie is one of our fastest runners and she is so inspiring for all of us.  She's super talented, but I'm not sure she really sees it and that is probably one of the many reasons we like her so much.  Anyway, Katie has been training HARD for the Chicago marathon.  In fact, this was the first time she'd done a lot of what she did in training.  It wasn't always fun.  It was super challenging.  And because she'd never done much of it, she was not quite sure if she was doing it right, if she was doing all she could, or if it would result in a PR marathon.  Her goal was a 3:15.  Her best was a 3:18.

Now, I felt the whole time that she had it in the bag.  Not only is she already a strong and amazing runner, her training was hard core and she stuck with it the entire time.  Still, there is always room for something beyond one's control to happen in a marathon.  I have experienced it and seen it happen in others.  And it is heartbreaking.  Katie knows this too, and so as the marathon approached and she began to question and doubt and wonder and talk herself out of being disappointed if it didn't happen, the girls and I were right there with her. 

On race day the e-mails were flying.  We were on our computers before and after church services, and I wondered how she was doing the whole morning.  And then I saw it.  The e-mail titled, "KATIE ROCKS!"  I almost stood up and cheered.  I said, "SHE DID IT!  SHE DID IT!" as Jason asked who did what.  The e-mails continued to fly as each of us discovered the news.  I'm sure Katie's phone and facebook page began to light up with congratulations and comments as her friends and family realized she had achieved her PR.

But I like to think her morning running crew were the ones who really knew, who really understood.

Anyway, Katie is back in town now and took a few moments to post quickly on her blog that she had in fact reached her goal and that she'd tell more soon (for which I am impatiently waiting).  In her post she mentions a sign she read while running, and I found it so inspiring.

"There will come a day when you will not be able to do this.  Today is not that day!"

Katie didn't have time to write much, but she did say she thought about these words for much of the race.  I can understand why.  These words are simple, but so powerful too!  I absolutely love this and intend to use it as inspiration for my next event as well.

So today, this post is dedicated to Katie, my amazing marathoning and mothering friend.  Check out her blog for an update on her marathon.  I know that's what I'll be doing...or I might just show up at her house with 2 cups of coffee if I can't wait any longer for the scoop.