A One Year Old and a Half Marathon

So...I haven't written since August of 2015 when my girl turned 3 years old and I was participating in the 21 Day Fix (which totally works and rocks, by the way, and I have abs for the first time in my 36 years of life). I have great intentions and a lot of hilarious stories and meaningful thoughts and great pictures but...I also have two kids and a running hobby. Oh and there's reading and napping too. And Netflix. So that's why I don't often post. 

But having a one year old and running my first half marathon in almost two years surely merits a post! 

So here's my one year old at his penguin themed birthday party. This little guy has brought our family so much joy and fun. He is a hoot and a snuggle and an easy smile. 

Here's the whole family. I love us. God has been good to me, and I try to tell Him every single day how thankful I am for these three people He has given me. 

So I've been running and training for this upcoming half marathon, which was January 16. It was my first post-baby half and also my first half in almost two years! It was fantastic! I went into it nervous and unsure, but also excited to just be out there doing it. I ran most of the way with my friend, Jan, and that made it go by quickly and easily. 

It didn't feel hard until mile 12 and part of that was because I'd left my fuel in the car. Jan had given me two of her gummies and they'd certainly helped, but by mile 12 I knew I was depleted. The last few miles were also a steady climb and that wore on me as well. My handsome other half (who ran it in 1:20:08) met me at mile 12 and ran me in. I finished in 1:56:40 and was quite pleased with that starting point. Lots of room for improvement, but I'm happy with where I am. 

In other news, I'm addicted to PiYo. I didn't even know what it was when I bought the DVD set, but I love it! I do it on the days I don't run. It has definitely changed my body, made me stronger, and I believe it has helped keep me from injury as I have increased my mileage. 

I am also falling in love with cooking! Which is crazy when I think of how I used to resent time spent grocery shopping and cooking dinner when Jason and I were first married. Now I take great joy and pride in feeding my family well, in cooking and baking, in new kitchen gadgets and cookbooks and Pinterest! Don't even get me started on my love affair with Pinterest! 

That's where I am these days. I keep up with my new recipes and such on Instagram, so follow me there if you are interested. For now my writing time is up as I hear the one year old summoning me from his nap. 

Messing Up Doesn't Mean Giving Up

It is Tuesday of my second week in the 21 Day Fix, and it is going so well, but I have learned that weekends are more challenging than weekdays. For me, anyway. Especially when a birthday and a wedding is involved. All was certainly not lost, though. I did my videos, I ran a little bit, and I stayed mostly on track with my diet. It was just harder and I didn't do as well with my eating as I was doing during the week.

Friday I got up and ran three miles...knowing what was in store for the morning. Jason was off, and we celebrated Eloise's 3rd birthday. I had my first cheat/processed food/sugar of the week on this occasion in the form of 6 donut holes. Heavenly. I had some scrambled eggs and some green tea with them so I wouldn't get all sugar crazy and then I moved on with my day.

Happy Birthday, sweet Eloise!

Around lunch time I went shopping with my mom to look for Eloise some flower girl shoes. She was going to be in my cousin's wedding the next day. This was not a problem, except I got hungry on my way to meet mom. I hate being hungry. Before we started shopping I got an order of grilled chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-a, and that was fine, but what I got to go with them was not. A sweet tea. Yep.  I have NO idea why I did that. I should have gotten the fruit and water. Oh well. I knew it wasn't a great decision, but I moved on.

The rest of the day I did well.  I didn't let messing up lead to giving up.  I did my video for that day and we all got ready for a busy Saturday of wedding fun.

Saturday I did well, despite how badly I wanted a piece of wedding cake.  I packed fruit, seeds, and nuts so I had plenty of healthy snacks and had another order of grilled chicken nuggets (no sweet tea this time) since lunch time found us on the road to the wedding. I decided I'd allow myself a piece of wedding cake (although why I decided I could have another cheat, I don't know), but when it came down to it, I decided against it. Instead, I thought we could stop at Starbucks on the way home and THAT would be my cheat.

Let me back up to say, I was up 4 hours in the middle of the night with my kids the night before... and then I had to hold my breath and wait in utter suspense to see if my three-year-old would, in fact, walk down the aisle in a wedding!  Oh. My. Word!  (She did. It was amazing and so very sweet, even if she did poke the bride in the bum at one point).  I was so exhausted on the way home and I still had a video to do. So Starbucks just made sense. But in an act of wonderful fate, we MISSED it, and I wasn't about to go looking for it with two sleeping babies in the car. We needed to make TIME!

My sweet flower girl and her cousin and bridesmaid, Caroline

I was getting frustrated.  I was so tired. I was hungry. I had to do my video. I didn't want to miss a day of working out and I didn't want to mess up anymore with my eating.  Then I remembered... I still had my Shakeology shake to look forward to!  YES!

We got home. Jason ran, and I had one piece of Ezekiel bread with avocado on it to fuel my workout. I made dinner (turkey taco salad) and then did my video (Dirty 30). Eloise and I enjoyed our delicious shake and my day was saved. Whew!

Sunday I headed to the store to stock up once again on all the good stuff. I packed my fridge full.  I enjoyed my Yoga Fix, and then Monday I started all over again.  After the total body cardio fix, I was not NEARLY as sore as the previous Monday.  And I'm still trucking along. Feeling good.  Enjoying good food, good workouts, and Shakeology. A few hiccups this weekend didn't derail me and for that I'm thankful. 

So what I'd say to anyone doing the 21 Day Fix or going after any health and fitness goal... Don't let messing up lead to giving up. Just get back on track and keep going!

4 Days In

I am 4 days in to the 21 day fix and my overall review is, so far so good! I know 4 days may seem a bit soon to be giving a report, but I am already seeing and feeling changes and it's pretty cool. I'm going to divide my reports up into three sections: Eating, Workouts, and How I Look/Feel.

Eating
I thought this part would be the hardest. I've been eating whatever I want for a LONG time, and I thought the cravings would be pretty strong. They haven't been!  It does take some thought, effort, and prep to make sure all the good stuff is on hand when I get hungry, but eating that instead of processed food and sweets has not felt hard at all. I've felt GREAT (but more on that later)!

It has been 4 days since I've had any processed sugar or coffee. Now, before you coffee lovers freak out, you CAN have coffee during this program. You just can't include all the stuff (cream and sugar) I want to put in mine. I have made the switch to green tea with honey, and I enjoy 2 cups a day with one (very generous) tablespoon of raw honey in each. Yesterday I was craving some coffee, so I put in my coconut creamer (which is not allowed, but coconut milk is*) and one packet of stevia. I almost spit out that first sip. I'm not a fan of any sugar substitute.  I thought I could do stevia, but I can't. It is in Shakeology, but the taste is not so strong and I really like my chocolate vegan shake each day. My coffee, however, was terrible. I immediately dumped it out and made myself a cup of green tea.

I have actually enjoyed this switch, however, I will not make this switch forever.  I just want to give this 21 Day Fix 100% to get optimal results. Then I will change things up in order to maintain. I may not have a cup every day, but eventually I will return to my sugar and half and half in my coffee, but I may not indulge every day.

Workouts
I'd say day 2 and 3 are the hardest regarding workouts. This is not so much because of the workouts themselves (although they are challenging), but because of the soreness I have felt going in to each one. Wow!  The first workout was fun and fast-paced and I was able to do it. I was pouring with sweat, but it was fun and over before I realized 30 minutes had gone by. By that afternoon, however, I was feeling it.  The run I tried to do with my class was VERY hard and I stopped after 2 miles.

The next two mornings were tough, but I knew it was important to push through that initial soreness. Once I got moving it wasn't so bad, and it loosened up all those sore muscles, which I think helped in the long run. Today, day 4, was the Pilates Fix, and I was sore, but not nearly as much as I have been. The workout was challenging, but it also felt really good. I think by tomorrow's Dirty 30 (yikes!) I'll be fresh and ready to ramp it up again.

How I Look/Feel
I feel really good. I was worried I'd feel tired and draggy, but I haven't.  In fact, I've been able to push through the afternoon slump with a cup of green tea. When I finally get my two anti-nappers to nap (a workout all its own) I have done chores and other tasks on my to-do list instead of wanting a nap myself.

I did make the decision to increase my calorie bracket so I could have a few more carbs because my two runs this week have felt REALLY hard and I think that is because I didn't have enough fuel. I'm not trying to go overboard, but I still want to run 3-4 times a week, even if it is only a few miles each time. One of my main reasons for doing this program is to benefit my running, so I don't want to hurt it in the process.

I also don't want to endanger my milk supply and I'm worried if I cut calories too much, I won't be able to continue feeding Matthew (who is hitting the 7 month mark soon!).  Since I'm not trying to lose weight, I think this adjustment is ok.  Especially since allowing myself more calories isn't giving myself permission to have junk, just allowing one more portion of the good stuff.

As far as how I look, my middle is already starting to tighten up.  That is a pleasant surprise for sure!  Only 4 days in and already seeing results?  I'll take it!

So far so good! I have no idea what the Dirty 30 workout has in store for me tomorrow, but I'm looking forward to it anyway!

*Coconut milk is a "cheat" of sort and replaces a portion of the yellow container (I think).

21 Day Fix

So I'm starting something new today and I'm excited about it.  It is the 21 Day Fix with Team Beachbody, and my sister, Jessi Pennington, is my coach. My goal is not really weight loss as it is to tone up areas (arms, abs, back) that aren't really targeted with running. I've dabbled in weights and pilates since getting pregnant with Matthew, but I can't seem to stick with it, and I really have no idea what I'm doing.  I've been doing workouts sporadically that I've found on Pinterest and while I've felt stronger, I haven't seen any results. My hope is that I will SEE some toned arms and abs, and I want to feel it as well. I'm hoping that strengthening these other areas will also benefit my running, making me stronger and eventually faster.

I've struggled a little with my desire to have a toned upper body, wondering if it really matters and if I'm just being vain. I'm healthy, I'm not overweight, I'm able to run and feel good chasing after my two little ones all day. It seems somewhat silly to want more, but I think if I keep it in its proper place priority-wise, it should be okay. And while I do want to look good, it is not my only motivation for doing the 21 Day Fix. I want to feel GREAT. I want to be healthy and STRONG. I want to cut out some of the sugar in my diet and replace it with better, more nutrient rich foods.

Since having Matthew in January, I've sort of given myself permission to eat whatever I want because I was nursing. I don't do too bad, but there is lots of room for improvement and that starts with the amount of sugar I allow myself each day. From what I pour into my coffee, to what is in my snacks, to what I indulge in at night, it is simply too much. I'm not a dieter, I prefer to simply eat in moderation, but with all I've read about sugar, it is a big, fat baddie when it comes to health.  I've even heard it referred to as "the white death."  A little dramatic, maybe, but I'd still like much less of it in my diet.

So I'm following the 21 Day Fix program to the letter. I purchased the chocolate vegan Shakeology (because of Matthew's dairy allergy), and I had my first shake this morning with half a banana in it.  Not bad!  I enjoyed my shake after my first 30 minute workout, the total body cardio fix. It was challenging for sure, but also fun and fast paced. I love the duration of the workouts because I know I can find 30 minutes each day to workout, and I know I'm a better, nicer, more patient person when I do.

I'm still planning to run 3-4 times a week. I can't give up my first love, that's for sure. But after seeing the results of my friends and family, I believe this program will get me the results I want if I stick to it. I am slightly concerned about the calories and if I start to drop weight or milk production, I may increase my portion allotment (how many of each colored container I can have) to make sure I can still nurse Matthew as much as I want.

And, in following the program to the letter, I have a "before" picture... even though I look like a dork. This is as much as I could show, so when I have rock solid abs, you'll just have to take my word for it.

If you'd like to join me, I can hook you up with my sister's info. She's amazing, and she already has a set of rock solid abs and totally toned arms. Since we are related, I figure I'm going to look exactly like her in 21 days. Just like this...

Photo credit to Adria Peaden (a fellow 21 Day Fixer!)

An Overall Win and a Post Baby PR

Now, before you get excited, know that the two things mentioned in the title did not happen in the same race.  But both were still pretty fun and both were surprising. As I mentioned in my previous post, I had a hilly, hard 5k approaching called the Madison Skedaddle. I wasn't expecting another post baby PR, but I was aiming for something in the 25 minute range. Well, I had a great race and I felt good, but my finishing time was 26:27. I was okay with that and even more so because I was the first female to cross the finish line for the first time ever.  I think I've finished in the top 3 before, but never the first overall female. What made that even more fun was Jason won the race altogether.

My mom watched our babes so we could both run it, and it was a fun little race date.  And while I know my overall win was probably due to another more competitive 5k elsewhere and a 10k Skedaddle event, it was still really fun to win and I was pleased with my efforts on such a tough course. We concluded our race date with a trip to Starbucks for an iced mocha. Mmmmm.

This past weekend was July 4th, and I asked my sister to watch Eloise and Matthew so Jason and I could run the Firecracker 5k.  We ran this race the first time they held it and have run it every year we've been in town since then.  It is a flat and fast course and I've usually done pretty well on it. Last year I ran it with Eloise in the stroller and a teeny, tiny Matthew in my tummy.  We also announced that we were expecting on this day last year.

July 4, 2014

This year it was a rainy and cool day, which definitely worked in our favor.  I wasn't expecting much because all of my runs the previous week had been hard and I had been feeling so tired. But I was looking forward to it all the same. I started out at a reasonable pace, which is somewhat rare for me to do in a 5k.  I usually go as hard as I can for as long as I can and hope for the best.  But I decided to start at the pace I wanted to hold so I ran around 7:50-8:00 pace and stayed there throughout the race, finishing in 24:51, which was a 4 second post baby PR.  I was pretty excited about that.

The race got me out of my tired running funk and I was surprised to shave a few seconds off my current post baby PR. I enjoyed running in the cool, misty rain and I really enjoyed hanging with my guy. We ran our cool down miles and then headed home, stopping by a fireworks store to stock up on a few fun things to do with Eloise later that night.

July 4, 2015

Eloise was into it.

Brother watched from a safe distance....

TWO Sparklers!

Brother needed in on the action.

Post Baby Racing

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my strategy for running post baby is a little different this time around. Instead of focusing on adding mileage as fast as I can like I did after the birth of my daughter, I'm focusing on short, more intense runs and trying to maintain and improve my pace. My runs are usually 3-6 miles, and on days I don't run I do a weight workout or allow Jillian Michaels to beat me up a little through one of her videos.

So with my new strategy, I've participated in 5ks only since Matthew was born in January, and since then I've run three races. Each race was a little bit faster than the one before, which was a fun little goal to chase.

8 weeks post baby - the Seaside Half Marathon and 5k. I finished in 25:37 which was actually much faster than I anticipated, so I was pretty excited about my post baby starting point.  I also won 3rd place in my age group (my first time running in the 35-39 AG), but I didn't know it and didn't go to collect my award.

10 weeks post baby - the Lead me to the Cross 5k.  I finished in 25:04 and was pleasantly surprised because this course was HILLY! I would have won 3rd place in my age group again, but I didn't show up in the results. I was a little disappointed about that, but still pleased to knock a little time off my post-baby 5k.

Proof that I did, indeed, finish the race.

18 weeks post baby - the Run for a Mom 5k.  I finished in 24:56. The goal was to finish in 24 something, but I had hoped to do more than just barely make it. I didn't feel quite right while running this one, like my legs wouldn't go or something. I really had to work for it and I'm not sure I would have made it, had I not had to keep two ladies from passing me at the end. Still, I was pleased to knock off a little more time, even if mere seconds, and to win 1st place in my age group.

My next race is this weekend.  I'll be 23 weeks post baby and running the Madison Skedaddle 5k.  I'm excited to get to race, but this time I'm not hoping for another faster time. I think my time of easy improvement is over and this upcoming race has a massive hill along with some smaller ones too. While I've continued running and have gradually increased my weekly and monthly mileage, I have not done any 5k training. If the course were an easier one, I'd possibly have a shot at removing a few more seconds, but as it stands, I do not believe that will be possible.

But I still have a goal. While I am not aiming for a faster post baby 5k, I would like a 25 something and I believe that is doable.  I'll just have to work for it.  Stay tuned for the update! 

Holding Back

So my little guy is 5 months old, and what an amazing, sweet, cuddly 5 months it has been. He is so big and doing so many things already and I am thinking, "SLOW DOWN!" But of course he won't. He is a smiley, happy, roly poly boy who loves to eat, loves to jabber, loves to be tickled and attempts to crawl any time he is on his belly.

Tuesday I did my second post baby 6 miler and tackled my first post baby big hill. There are a few mean hills around my hood that I like to climb when trying to become stronger, and this was the first day since Matthew was born that I attempted one. It went wonderfully!  I felt good and strong enough to handle it.  I did a loop at the top of the hill, then ran back down and back home. Around the last half mile my calves started to feel a little tired, but that was it.

I was pretty excited about that run, but in the first few miles, as I decided what route I would take and how many miles I would tackle, I sort of had to give myself permission to push a little.  I've been holding back these past 5 months, but with good reasons.  I didn't want to become sore or injured as I started my journey back. I didn't want to wear myself out so that I was too tired to be a good mom to my little ones (what a physical job that is too!). I'm also protecting my milk supply, and so armed with these reasons, I've kept my workouts short while trying to keep them a little more intense.  No long slogs to try to add mileage, but quick 3-5 milers. And as I mentioned above, I've only bumped it up to 6 miles twice, and both times the run felt great.

As I journey back to running, my strategy and focus are both a little different than after my first child was born. I really want to savor these days with these babies, knowing and seeing already how fast they grow and change.. I don't want to be too tired to play and I don't want to be impatient if nap times or night times don't work out for me to fit in a run.  I want to be fit, sure, but I want to be a good mom, enjoy my babies, and take care of my family and home.

A perk of training this way is most of my runs feel pretty good because I am rarely worn down. I usually feel fresh going into a run unless sleep or eating hasn't been optimal. I've been doing some strength training as well, and while only making tiny strides in that department, I think it has aided me in holding on to a better pace. I know I wasn't running my current pace (sub 9:00 - 9:30) any time soon after having Eloise because I kept adding mileage, making most of my runs longer, harder, and very frustrating.

Now, however, I think I'm ready for a bit more in my daily workout.  I'm ready to push a little.  I'm thinking about adding in a once-a-week speed workout and allowing for more 6 milers. I think my current fitness level can handle an increase.  I'm also pulling out my Jillian Michaels videos and letting her kick my butt a little. Man, you really think you are in shape until Jillian gets a hold of you and wow!  Today I did a 20 minute kickboxing workout followed by a 30 minute ab workout. I was trying to avoid the outside heat and thought this was a better (easier?) option but I was pouring sweat and breathing hard!  It was GREAT!

So that's where I am now.  I'm trying to simply enjoy running while I enjoy motherhood. I'm trying to build a strong, fit, and healthy base for when I do start training for something - probably sometime in the fall. For now, I am satisfied with that plan.

The Inaugural Walk/Jog/Run Class Race

Every semester in my Walk/Jog/Run class at UAH, my students have the option to either participate in a local 5k or write two article reviews for their final exam. Usually about half the class or less will run a 5k. Scheduling problems, money shortage, or simple nervousness about entering an actual race leave the other students to write article reviews...in a running class.  I've never really liked this, wanting students to be able to put their 5k training to the test, but it was the best I could come up with at the time (which seems so silly now, but moving on...).

Each class is different, having a different personality and atmosphere, but overall I can honestly say every class has been great. By the end of the semester, students who were too shy or too cool have warmed up to me and there is a feeling of camaraderie because we've all been running together for several weeks.

I absolutely LOVE teaching this class and each semester I learn a little more about how to make it even better for my next set of runners. I am constantly tweaking and hopefully improving the Walk/Jog/Run experience for my students, trying to make it motivating and challenging, informational and fun for all types of walkers and runners.  I've had some students take their running to a full sub 4 hour marathon and other students take my class more than once in order to have running buddies and accountability.

This spring semester I had another great group - my biggest class so far - which was really exciting. The spring semester is difficult, however, in that it is shorter than other semesters because we have to wait for daylight savings time so we aren't running in the dark each evening (the class starts at 5:30 pm). We have about 7 weeks total to train for a 5k and then it is up to chance whether or not a local race will fit into the end of the program. This year it did not, leaving many students with article reviews. Well, this class revolted. They told me flat out they did not want to write article reviews, they wanted to race.

They wanted to have our own class race, and after asking the students who had already raced if they minded me changing it up (they agreed it was okay), I made a race date for this Monday's class time, making it mandatory for all of those who had not already run a local race. They were pumped and so was I.

I came home that night and talked with Jason.  He loves this sort of thing and he was full of good ideas. We decided to look through our old race numbers and race medals so that everyone could have a number and a finisher's award. The problem was, Mrs. Anti-Hoarder (me) had thrown them all away except for the special ones. So I called my mom.  She had a ton of both so she brought them to me Monday before class, and she and Dad kept the kids so Jason could help me with the race.

Every student got a used race number from a different race and upon finishing they all got a medal won or received at different races. They thought this was hilarious as we all pinned on our used race numbers and walked to the start line.  Jason sent us off and kept time, and I ran the route with my students. It was 2.8 miles because I didn't have time to make a better route on such short notice, but my students were a little relieved since the class duration hadn't allowed for many longer runs anyway.  I chose an out-and-back route which crossed no stop lights and most of my students had already run for safety purposes.

I placed 4th, having three students who could beat me.  About 5-6 students had already raced and some chose not to race again, which was their choice...although I must say they missed out. It was an absolute blast and I can honestly speak for the whole class.

Everyone was proud of themselves and I saw students talking with one another who didn't usually. Everyone was smiling and laughing, glad to be finished.  Jason and I had fun too and I believe I have now discovered yet one more improvement to the class.  From now on Walk/Jog/Run will have our own free-of-charge, scheduled at the end of our training, class race. I am already looking forward to it, and I cannot wait for next semester!

I'm Not Done Writing

Well it has been a while! In my last post I was 22 weeks pregnant and now I have a sweet, precious, adorable baby boy! And you mamas know there are simply no words to describe the joy, the brightness, the amazing blessing it is to have a baby boy. A second child. Two precious amazing creations. My heart bursts on a daily basis. I know it is cheese Louise but there it is. My cup overflows. My bucket overflows!

My little guy (Matthew) was born on January 3, three days passed his due date. ACK! I had convinced myself I'd have him even earlier than Eloise who showed up at 39 weeks. So come Christmas Day, I expected a baby in hand... but it wasn't to be. I went a little crazy at first, but eventually made peace that God had a reason for the wait. I almost had a birthday baby, but instead I took my bundle home on my birthday, January 5. You can't beat that birthday present!

He's 12 weeks now and a smiley, talkative, squooshy little ball of fun. He sleeps like a champ (don't hate, but I've been spoiled by his sleep habits from our first night home).  He's a good eater and he doesn't fuss unless he's tired or hungry. Eloise loves him. She kisses him, talks to him, wants to hold him and gets anxious when I suck the snot out of his nose and he screams.

Eloise... she is an amazing, spitfire of a 2 year old. She's every bit of 2. Wonderful and horrible all at the same time. I love it all, though. Every stage, every challenge, every hilarious thing she says and does. She is such a bright, happy, funny girl and she brings me immeasurable joy.

So I guess you can see we are doing well.

And I'm running! Without a passenger and every time I set out I am so grateful! I remember LONGING for the moments I'm living today. Feet moving, heart pounding, lungs pumping, arms swinging, wind behind my ears... all of it. I raced quite a bit this pregnancy, my last race being my last real run on Thanksgiving Day - around 35 weeks pregnant. I began speed walking with wild abandon after that. I had to have caused a few grins from any neighbors who spotted me... had to. I made myself grin. But it kept me sane so on I walked.

Running post pregnancy this time around is different too. I have a better pace and I got it much sooner. I'm limiting mileage this time... taking my time in the building of it. I'm up to 5 miles but I've only done that once. I run 3-4 times a week, 3-5 miles. I do weights twice a week and that has made a huge difference I believe. My first 5k I ran 8 weeks post baby and my time was 25:37. Two weeks later I did another at 25:05. I was both surprised and excited about this. I'm hoping my next 5k has a 24 in front of my time. We shall see. I can't expect them all to be faster, but I'm going to work on that this summer.

I'm keeping my mileage short for a few reasons. I don't want to spend a lot of time doing it. I have two babies, after all, and I'm nursing one of them. I want to hang on to my milk supply and my energy. My little guy seems to have a milk allergy so I'm off dairy. That has been an aggravating challenge, but no matter how fed up I get with my food restrictions, I press on. It's worth it to me.

I also don't want to get injured. I've had a few new-runner-body issues and I've eased up a few times to let them work themselves out or heal. Mostly just an angry IT band. I'm enjoying my journey back so far and that is what matters the most. I plan to stick with 5ks and maybe a 10k or two for most of 2015. Jason and I sort of made a pact to do so, although we may throw in a 10 miler or two as well. I want to build pace before I cram in a lot of mileage. I focused solely on mileage after Eloise was born and I want a different strategy this time around.

For now, that's what's up! I've got to hurry off and get in my weight workout now, but I'll post pictures of Mr. Cuteness soon.  I made a New Year's Resolution to write at least once a week this year. I gave myself permission to get used to two kids for a while, and I think I'm there now.  So here we go...  a brand new adventure as a family of four, a mom of two, a full heart and a body ready to run!

22 Weeks and Definitely Counting

I'm 22 weeks pregnant tomorrow and I'm already impatient with this whole pregnancy thing.  Which is horrible and ungrateful and I'm working on changing my attitude from one of complaining to one of gratefulness and joy.  Is it all just hormones?  I have no idea how much they play into this. Supposedly a lot, but I don't like using hormones as an excuse for bad behavior or bad thinking.

I'm tired of being tired. I wish I could stop fixating on it and just be.  I'm working on that too.  I have no idea if I'm bigger or smaller or just the same as my last pregnancy, I'm not sure how my exercise and running is stacking up, and I'm not sure why I have to fixate on that either. I am slowly (but hopefully surely) letting go of mileage goals and turning them into time goals. I'm trying to focus on time spent exercising instead of reaching a certain amount of miles and being content with what I get. That's hard when my workouts have always been mileage driven. Watching my weekly totals dwindle (even for a really good reason) is not always easy.

I don't like gaining weight. I wish I could do it all gracefully, but I hate it.  Friends and family tell me I'm small and cute, but it is so hard to hear what they say and believe it.  When I look in the mirror I do NOT see small and cute. I see a tired old chubby lady. An ungrateful one, at that (which certainly doesn't add beauty to the current situation).

So. Deep breath.  I'm changing my mind about all of this. Starting now. Remember that song by Sister Hazel, "If you wanna be somebody else, change your mind.  oooooo yeeeeaaaah..."  That's what I'm doing and I know I can count on my amazing God to help me. He has given me so much and I don't want to be a sour old pregnant lady. I want to be a joyful old pregnant lady who looks forward to another precious little one. And I do. When I start to really think about what I'm getting out of all of this, it really is quite amazing and quite worth it. And when I take my eyes off myself and look around, I see women wanting to be pregnant who can't. I see women having much harder pregnancies than I can imagine. And I am reminded to be grateful to be healthy and happy and having another little one to add to our family.

I've started another 1000 Gifts list to help me focus on my blessings. I want spend more time in prayer about the things that are bothering me than whining about them to Jason or my mom and sister. They are great listeners and supporters, but lack the power to help the situation like God can. I saw something on Facebook the other day that read, "Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?" and I thought, "Nope. Not at all."

Other than the usual pregnancy fun, I'm doing great. And Eloise is so much fun and such a hoot.  I love being her mama. There are, of course, hard parenting days where I wonder if I'm doing any good at all, but then I see the little proofs that a difference is being made. And it is quite wonderful.  As is pregnancy if I look for it.

Spring, Summer, and Big News

Good morning, friends!  It has been a while!  I have intended to sit down and write a spell a thousand times and every time (until now) I've spent those moments doing something else. Back when I was a working woman, I used to think when I stayed home with my kids I'd have SO much more time to write. I'd be a writing fiend. And now... now I laugh.  I had lunch breaks at work!  Now I have nap breaks but I usually use those to clean, workout or nap.

Let's do a little recapping.  Spring leading into summer was wonderful.  Many fun races, good half-marathon times, planting flowers and veggies outside with my girl, trying new recipes, hanging out with family and friends, discovering the local splash pads, building a new swing set, raising butterflies, making cookies, and the list of fun goes on.  Everything seems exciting with a 1.5 year old who is doing so much of it for the first time and who is so very curious and interested in it all. It makes me feel like a kid too as I watch her play, explore, discover, make huge messes, laugh, run, jump, and learn.

Splash pad love. This girl can ROCK the splash pad!

Picking strawberries...okay, I was picking, she was sampling.

Jason and my dad built Eloise this swing set in our backyard. It has been a HIT ever since!

The last time I wrote in April, we were in the midst of all of it. I had just run the Seaside Half-marathon, finishing in 1:48 and I was on to Scottsboro in April and then Bridgestreet in May.  I had planned to take a minute off of each race and I succeeded in Scottsboro. It was hilly and rained on us the entire time, but I had a good run, finishing in 1:47 and winning first place in my age group.  Bridge street was in May and I was on target for my 1:46.  My PR was a 1:44, but I thought it too soon to make that big of a leap. Well, not only did I not leap to my PR, I leaped 9 minutes backward, finishing in 1:53.  I was so aggravated!  I knew I was trained, I knew I was ready!  The course was flat, the day was warm, but not too bad...  And it was in my hometown!  I knew it was all just a part of running and racing, and I knew I needed to let it go, but it took me a while.

And that seemed odd. Not only had I fallen apart in a race where I should have done well, I was overly upset about it.  The next day I made myself run sub 8 pace on the treadmill as a sort of... punishment...?  Now, I love running, training, setting and reaching goals as much as the next runner, but I'm usually able to have a moment of disappointment, shrug my shoulders and move on.  But this time I was frustrated!  Angry!  And I couldn't understand why I hadn't been able to make my 1:46 time.

Well. I got my answer a few weeks later when I took a little pregnancy tests.  Positive!  Of course, in the half marathon it was just a wee little tiny spec, but it was there. Or should I say HE was there.  Yep.  We are expecting a baby boy in December. I AM SO EXCITED!  I can hardly stand myself, I am so excited.  Secretly I had hoped the reason for my slow half marathon would be a baby, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I actually took a pregnancy test too early and it was negative. But all the symptoms were there. Not only was the half marathon slow and hard, ALL of my runs were. Maybe once a week I'd have a good run, but most were slogs.  I was hoping, but not daring to hope too much.

Jason knew all along. He even knew when the first test was negative.

We succeeded in keeping it a secret until that first 8 week appointment (where I was actually 9 weeks). After that we told our families and once I reached the second trimester, we told close friends and then anyone.  I'm almost 18 weeks now and I'm starting to show a little. I feel good mostly, and I'm glad the morning yuckies are gone. I never really got sick, but I usually felt yucky after eating breakfast each day.

Beach trip/work trip with Jason at 13.5 weeks preg

I had some good runs though!  We ran several races in which I did well and it was fun being the only one to know I was running with a little passenger. We ran a 4 mile race in Fayetteville, which was so gorgeous and fun.  I pushed Eloise in the stroller and it was HILLY!  Crazy hilly.  But I managed 4th female overall and 1st in my age group (it wasn't a super big race, but still.  A pregnant, stroller pushing win is a win!).

We ran two 10 milers, both in June.  The RC Cola Moonpie in Bell Buckle and the Firecracker Chase in Fayetteville. I won first in my age group in the Firecracker Chase, which was a huge surprise. I was taking it super easy in the heat, just enjoying being able to run 10 miles and feel good doing it. We ran the Firecracker 5k here in Huntsville on July 4th and I pushed Eloise in the stroller. We announced that day we were pregnant.

Just a family of 4 having fun on the 4th!

These races would be fun to recap, but for now I'll have to settle with a few pictures and a brief summary.  I can't believe it is almost August.  My girl will be turning 2 on the first and we are planning a little family cookout to celebrate. I'm looking forward to summer ending and cooler temps arriving so I don't have to get up so early to get in the miles (that is getting harder!), but I also don't want to wish away these golden summer days with just me and my girl. She is a hoot, and she brings me joy and laughter every day.  I'm pretty sure I have never done anything so satisfyingly wondering in this life as be her mama. And to be blessed with another little one of our own...well, I am so hugely grateful every day for such a gift.

That's all for now, my friends!  I'm going to try to be a bit more regular with my writing, but we shall see how that goes. Have a GREAT day!

Jogging Stroller Races and Records

There's been a lot of racing going on this spring, since the Seaside half-marathon!  While the weather has been a little crazy with the back and forth of cold and warm, we've managed to have some great days for racing mixed in, and my little girl got to participate as well.

Jason and I participated in two 5ks in March, the first of which was the UAH Shamrock 5k on his birthday!  This was a small, laid back, community event to support abused children.  Jogging strollers were welcomed, so we took ours along with us and I pushed Eloise in the race.  Well, I got a jogging stroller PR with a 25:35!  I realized I was on target after the first mile (which was mostly downhill) and so I tried to really push the rest of the way.  It was a sunny but cool day and Eloise was trooper.  She pointed out the ducks and a dog that was also in the race.  She occasionally said, "Weeeee!" causing any runners in front of us to glance back to see the source of that funny sound.  Many people cheered us on as we ran and Jason came back to get us about half a mile out.  He offered to take the stroller, but I told him I had to run the whole way with it. So he ran beside us and taught Eloise to say, "Goooo Mama!" (which she now says all the time at random moments even when we aren't running).

I was excited about my finish time and Jason ran a good race as well.  I think he finished in 17 minutes or something crazy like that.  We followed up our birthday race with a birthday donut from Dunkin Donuts, and I got in 5 more miles later that afternoon.

The next weekend we ran the Lead Me to the Cross 5k to support a dear friend and the local fire department.  I was aiming for another jogging stroller PR, planning to push hard from the beginning, but I met with some obstacles.  First of all, this race was much bigger than the Shamrock, so the start line was really crowded. When running with the jogging stroller, I always try to be super courteous and not get in other runners' way, so I stayed behind runners until an opening appeared instead of the usual weaving in and out until the crowd thins.  It got sort of annoying at times because runners would run side by side all the way across the road, but the road eventually widened and I was able to pass them.

rounding a corner in the last mile (I think)

 This course was also HILLY!  And usually I try not to let hills slow me down too much, but when pushing a stroller with a 25 lb baby in it... that is harder to do! I gave it all I had, though, and finished in 25:55.  Only 20 seconds slower than Shamrock, so not too bad!  

I had one guy say as I passed him in the race that it wasn't fair I had help. I thought he was joking until he came up to me after the race and said (with a smile, but still) that I cheated having all that "propulsion" in front of me... WHAT?  I smiled at him and just laughed, but I wanted to offer him a mile behind the stroller to feel the benefits of all this propulsion he thinks I had.  I think it might have been sour grapes because he got passed by the stroller lady or he's just... well... dumb.

Jason duked it out with a 12-year-old who beat him by 2 seconds. They finished in 17 something and the 12 year old set a state record for his age and in the 5k. 

It was an exciting finish for race supporters, and we had a good laugh about it when one of my friends said it was so nice of Jason to "let the kid win."  That's not how Jason runs.  No mercy!  But we had a blast running this 5k and seeing so many friends out there too!

Our team!  Everyone in this pick one an award (except for me).  ;)

Two great 5ks in two weekends, and we had a blast!  I love easy-going race atmospheres where they welcome jogging strollers. It allows Jason and I to both participate with no baby sitters or organizing schedules. We just hop in the car with our bright yellow stroller and our girl, and we run! 

Spring is Here!

Spring has always been my favorite.  I love all the green coming back into the world, the warmth after so much cold, shopping at local nurseries for all the plants and flowers I'm going to enjoy all spring and summer.  And these days, spring seems even sweeter now that I have Eloise. That girl LOVES to be outside and LOVES to explore nature, and with these warmer days finally upon us, we do just that every day.  Whether we play in my sadly naked (for now) back yard, go for walks in the neighborhood, play at a park, visit my sister's... we spend a good portion of the day outside and she loves it.

Playing outside in shorts for the first time!

I've been eying our raised bed, day dreaming of vegetables we will plant.  I've been envisioning hanging pots overflowing with flowers, and planting parsley and cilantro to welcome the caterpillars back so we can watch them cocoon and become butterflies.  My knock-out roses are showing new growth, my pansies have finally had a chance to bloom after all the snow and ice this winter.  My naked front porch begs for geraniums and marigolds...

Yes, this girl is ready for spring!  And Easter... just don't get me started!  I LOVE Easter!  It is my favorite of all the holidays and I always want a baby bunny around this time of year. Seems like everyone should celebrate with a baby bunny... but few seem to share my view, although I bet Eloise would be on board. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Let me update you on the previous blog post... 40 Bags in 40 Days was a fail by day 2.  Ha!  However!  I HAVE been cleaning out drawers and getting my nicer things ready to give away to a local Helping Hands. The not nice things (like Jason's shirts with holes in them that he tries to wear to work), went into the trash.  I can successfully open and close my winter and summer running drawers.  My closet... it still needs some time, but I'm getting there.  It may sound odd, but I like everything inside my home to be neat and tidy when I start working outside.  So while I have not done a bag a day, I have been working on that project since I mentioned it.

Operation Hot Body is still going, albeit slowly.  I had to take a few days after the first "Ripped in 30" workouts to recover because I was soooooo sore.  I can't decide if the point is to do the workout the very next day anyway, or if it is smarter to let sore muscles heal before tearing them up again... so I went with the latter.  I'd prefer to err on the more conservative side and live to workout/run/wrestle Eloise another day.  I have gotten to the point now, though, where I can do the workouts consecutive days... but that's just week 1.

It has taken me a week and a half to get through Week 1 of her 4 week workout series... and I'll admit, I'm comfortable now with Week 1 and I'd kind of like to stay there.  But week 2 is next!  Possibly today!  I'm afraid!

Training is going well!  I'm still hanging in with my speed workouts and I feel stronger on my runs.  I'm doing less mileage, but it is all a bit faster except for my easier days with my girls.  I'm training for a 1:46 half in April but... that is the reasonable goal.  But who likes to stay reasonable all the time?

Until next time, my friends!  And Happy Spring!

Decluttering, Simplifying, and Operation Hot Body

Now that the Seaside Half Marathon is behind me (amazing weekend, 1:48:52 finish, wonderful family time, my girl loves the beach, etc.), I am ready for the next thing and that is what I have (somewhat jokingly) named Operation Hot Body.  What that means is I'm going to quit being a mileage junkie.  It is time to improve my fitness by doing other things.  And this time I'm serious.  Seriously serious.

I had a conversation with myself the other day.  I asked myself, "What do you REALLY WANT out of all this?"  So I thought about it.  And here is the honest truth.  I like running. In fact, I love it.  But more than a personal record in some distance, more than winning my age group, more than running another ultra, I want to FEEL GOOD and LOOK GOOD.  That's it.  Being a mom and homemaker and wife is what I'm in to these days. I want to feel good enough to crawl around on the floor, wrestle and tickle my baby girl, hunt for toys under the furniture, keep a clean house (more on that in a sec), read 25 books in a row, play in the backyard for hours, chase butterflies and baby bunnies, and do yard work.  Sure, running gives me energy for all those things, but on days when I am stiff and sore and creaky I have to ask myself if it is giving me what I REALLY WANT? 

So I'm going after what I really want, which is a hot and happy body.

Now for the decluttering.  I'm going to try this thing I saw on the White House, Black Shutters blog.  It is called 40 Bags in 40 Days and it is a way to declutter (my spell check says that is not a word) and simplify one's home.  I don't think mine is super out of hand, but that doesn't mean it couldn't use this treatment.  And I probably won't take pictures every day and document everything like the blogger who came up with it, but I want to give the 40 day challenge a shot.  Want to join me?  I'll try to status here how its going.

And now to the simplifying. I haven't given this much thought, but then again I have.  Today my last active client with Running Start, LLC finished her training. She's working with a personal trainer and wants to continue that route.  And I must admit, getting to workout and train with someone in person is probably better than what I'm currently offering.

When I started my business, I was working full time and I wasn't a mom. I didn't want to sit behind a desk anymore, I wanted to work in the fitness industry.  Now that I am a full time mom, it has at times been hard to be there for my clients in the way I wanted to be.  I also continue to doubt my knowledge, to change my mind, to experiment with running and training theories and what I think about it... and I'm not sure that makes for a good coach. Seems like most of the coaches I know, know where they stand on all (or most) things running and coach accordingly. I just feel I still have so much left to learn.

I would consider my coaching a success in that all the runners I trained who followed their plans achieved their goals and then some.  They continue to run and they love it.  That was my purpose.  Those who didn't try or who quit were frustrating to me and I felt I had somehow failed them.  I just couldn't figure out what more I could have done, but thankfully there weren't very many of those.

All that said, I'm pretty sure I've decided to dissolve Running Start.  I'm a little sad about that, but not much.  Maybe one day when my kids are grown I can return to it, but now is not that time.  I want to focus on my family and growing it.  I want to focus on my own running and fitness.  I want to continue to learn about it, and experiment.  In the mean time, I am still teaching the Walk/Jog/Run course at UAH which I LOVE, and I think I will work on my ACE certifications so maybe I can teach a few classes at the local YMCA.

Once I acknowledged the desire to dissolve, I felt content with it.  This is all from today, so I haven't taken any action yet, but I'm pretty sure I will.  I like the thought of simplifying my life a little, taking out what doesn't fit right now and keeping all the things that do.  I have tried to take the words "Know thyself" seriously the past few years and to let myself be who I really am.  To let myself like what I like, to let myself do what I love and to really acknowledge what that is.  I'd like to let God do His thing too.  I have a feeling I've been in the way of that as well.  But enough for now.  I've got to go fill my 1st bag. 

Overcomer

Back in November I went to a Toby Mac concert with my sister and my niece.  I'm not really a concert person, but when I saw who all would be performing, I was pumped.  I love Toby Mac and I LOVE Mandisa. Before the concert I only knew a few of her songs and that she was on American Idol at some point.  Now I follow her on Facebook and I am regularly encouraged by what she has to say and by who she is.

My favorite favorite favorite song of hers was/is Overcomer and I listened to it often while training for and running the 50 miler in November.  God has been so good to me (why, I'm not sure) and I have not had to really overcome much in my 34 years of life so far.  But as many of you running moms know, getting back into running after having a child is not easy. I enjoyed the challenge, but it was tough and I wondered (and still do) if I'd ever be the runner I was before having Eloise.  Not that I was amazing or anything, but I'd worked hard to get where I was, and after pregnancy, recovery and motherhood... I just wasn't sure how in the world I'd get back there.  I still wonder.

So I approached the 50 miler never really believing I was trained, never being quite sure I could do it, doubting and telling myself untruths like, "You just aren't that kind of runner anymore, Jane."  But I did it.  And I didn't do half bad!

Then a month later came the Rocket City Marathon.  I signed up to run this race with my friend, Shannon, who was aiming for a 4:15.  Well... I was not recovered and Shannon had trained for a much faster marathon than what she'd first predicted.  But I wanted to be true to my word so on race day, I showed up ready to run with my friend.  At mile 16 she left me, as I told her she must if I couldn't keep up.  And then I had 10 lonely miles of tired legs and that little voice telling me, "You haven't trained for this.  You shouldn't be doing it.  You aren't this kind of runner anymore.  You are slow."  Etc. Etc. Etc.

So I replaced that little voice with the words of Mandisa's song, Overcomer.

"The same man, the Great I AM, the One who overcame death - He's living inside of you.  So just hold tight, fix your eyes on the one who holds your life. There's nothing He can't do..."

"Don't quit, don't give in, you're an overcomer.  Don't quit don't give in, you're an overcomer."  

"You're an overcomer.  Stay in the fight till the final round.  You're not going under..."

Sometimes I shake my head and think, "God doesn't care about your silly marathon time.  He's got starving, abused children to take care of!"  But His word tells me that He does and to bring it all to Him.  So I quieted all the doubt with this wonderful song and I finished that marathon strong.  It wasn't an impressive time and it wasn't a personal record, but because I knew how I felt out there and what I'd overcome, I was very happy with it.  And grateful.

That song was my theme for those months of training and racing and doubting and striving.  And any time those voices show up again, I play that song in my head or in my ears.  Being an overcomer isn't always about running, but because I am a runner I have seen that I can overcome.  I can overcome physical discomfort and distress, I can overcome the weather, I can overcome the desire to quit, I can overcome weariness.  So when those voices tell me other things like, "You aren't a very good friend.  You probably shouldn't have another child because you are too selfish.  You are so uninteresting, what could you possibly have to say?  You aren't devoted enough.  Go ahead and have another brownie. You are too tired today...."  I remind myself that I am an overcomer, with the Spirit of the One who overcame the world living in me.   And there's NOTHING He can't do!

I don't know Mandisa personally, but I love that girl.  Here's her song if you haven't heard it.  I guarantee you'll feel like conquering something if you give it a listen (or dancing or both).  Even if that something is just the dishes or the laundry or forgiving someone or being patient in traffic.  You're an overcomer too.

Bits and Pieces - the Lazy Edition

1. Blogging, running stay-at-home moms, how do you keep up with everything AND write?  As you can see from my pitiful blog here, that is what gets kicked off the to-do list when there is too much to do.  IF I have time to write anything about being a mom or running or training, I think I should be cleaning or organizing or cooking.  And if I'm not doing that, I'm resting when Eloise does because wooo weee!  She's a busy little 18 month old! I think about all these things I'd liked to say... but I never write them down.  I just think about them in the shower or while I'm running.

2.  I'm training for a PR half-marathon. I have two shots lined up so far.  One is a bit soon - the Seaside Half-Marathon March 2 and the other is a brand new marathon in my stomping grounds, the Bridge Street Towne Centre Half Marathon in April.  I'd like the PR in Seaside but I've waited a little late to start speed work so I'm not sure I can get there by then.  But I'm gonna try anyway!

3.  Every night for the last 3 weeks, all I want to do (and all I end up doing) after I read to Eloise and get her to bed is make myself a single serve brownie in a cup (oooooh my word, do yourself a favor and DON'T learn that recipe) and plop down on the couch next to Jason and watch a TV show.  Right now it is Revenge on Netflix unless one of our other shows are on Hulu.  It is the thing I look forward to every single night.  I'm hoping this will end soon.  I've let myself purposefully run out of ingredients for the brownie although I have not yet gained any weight from my new addiction. I guess you could say it is "all natural" and therefore not a bad dessert, but when you put a few scoops of all natural vanilla ice cream on top of your all natural brownie made with butter and sugar... the calories add up!  If you want the recipe, it is here but I warn you... you are opening Pandora's box if you look!

4.  Being a mom has taken on a whole new phase as we get closer to the age of two.  My baby girl is 18 months now and she is a spitfire!  She is not afraid of anything except on occasion the vacuum cleaner.  She likes to jump off of things, she likes to bounce, she likes to climb, she likes to run fast, she likes to be upside down... she's wild.  Occasionally she falls or bumps her head, but only sometimes does that bother her.  I like this and I fear this.  Ha!  But that's not the new phase part.  The new phase is she's finally realized she has her own will and she's starting to exert it.  That means I have to show her that I'm, in fact, the boss and it is my will that will win.  This is hard because I want rainbows and sunshine and baby laughter and tickles all the time.  But if I say the word, "No," all of that goes away.   My head knows she must be taught to obey but my heart still wants to avoid tears at all costs.  I thought I was tougher, but I am not.  However, I will learn to be.  It isn't easy though.

5.  It is the Sacred Month of Love!  I love this month!  I have no idea why except that it is just fun.  I love red and pink and purple and white and flowers and chocolate assortments and stuffed animals and sweet words.  So, I've decided to do a little something sweet/goofy/funny for Jason the first 14 days of this month to say, "I love you."  I might include them on this blog if he doesn't mind.  None of it would be considered an over share at this point... but we are only on day 3.

6.  And now that I've written, I feel that I must get back to my to-do list.  My house is in a sad state - partly because of my wild child and partly because I love sitting on the couch under a blanket so much. This cold winter is doing me in! I usually like it just fine but with a little one who loves going outside to play and doing all the things I mentioned in # 4... I've got spring fever BAD! I did sign her up for swim lessons that start this week and I'm super excited about that. I'm going to try to write a little more, and I do have some things I want to share, but for now you (my two BFFs who read my blog) will have to settle with a few bits and pieces. 

A Chat With My High School Self

I came across these pictures while looking through a box of old photographs the other day, and I laughed right out loud.  Back in the 10th grade, I was bored with running the mile in track and believing myself to be more an endurance runner than a sprinter, I decided (in all my youthful running wisdom) that the 300 meter hurdles were the answer.  (It's okay, you can laugh too.)

I had never run hurdles in my life... I didn't even know if I could run and jump!  And the kind, well-meaning football coach who also coached track and cross country wasn't quite sure what to do with me but to say okay and train me to run hurdles.  So when the first practice rolled around and I finally got up the nerve to actually jump over one of those things, I fell.  I fell hard and slid.  On pavement.  I had what looked like a melted jolly rancher on my hand for weeks, two skinned knees and a new found fear when I approached a hurdle.

But I did not give up. No sir. There was probably a high school boy who would be impressed by my hurdle jumping skills if I just stuck with it (and I'm sure he was after looking at that stellar form) and so Coach Newby and I kept training.  And while my form never really improved much and I still spent way too much time in the air, I started to catch up to some of the other girls on our track team who ran hurdles.  Coach Newby even suggested I start running the 100 meter hurdles (those are higher and closer together), and I finally agreed to train for those as well (while shaking in my running shoes).

The day before I was to run both the 300 meter and 100 meter hurdles in a meet, I went for a slow jog around my neighborhood because my legs were so sore.  And it wasn't jumping hurdles that put me on the ground, but a simple misstep off the curb.  I sprained my right ankle badly and was out for the rest of the season.  The next year I attended one track practice before deciding (as was my way back then) that swim team was more my thing (I had never ever ever attempted to swim fast any distance, any event... ever).

But now as I look at that picture and remember the high school girl who tried everything while never really being good at any of it and as I remember the things she used to worry about, I wish I could tell her some things.  I wish I could say, "You are capable of so much more than you realize.  In fact, you are going to do things you haven't even considered yet. You are going to run over 20 marathons and get much faster than you are now. You are going to run 50 miles and actually enjoy it. You are going to marry an amazing man. You are going to have a daughter. You are going to be comfortable in your own skin one day - yes, even with these legs you think are fat." 

And then when my high school self looked at my 34 year old self in disbelief and shook her head, I would nod and say again, "Yes, it's true. You are capable of so much more than you realize."

In high school and even college, I was chasing after something more while never really believing I'd actually catch it, and I wish wish wish I could just tell that girl, "You are going to catch it ALL and then keep going!"  I wish I could tell her to have faith, REAL faith, because God, as He has promised, will come through in ways that far surpass her hopes and imagination.

But... at the end of the day, all I can do is look at that picture and smile at my high school self.  I can try to take whatever wisdom my 34 years have granted me and continue to grow. I can try to be someone my 64 year old self will like, and I can try to impart what little I know to my daughter so maybe she'll be braver and stronger than I was.  This little chat I'd have with myself is not to say I'm some sort of amazing creature now. No, there are many who have and will do so much more than anything I've mentioned here.

I guess the point is to remember that the limits we place on ourselves don't have to stick, to take a look at who we are now and realize it's not the end of the road.  And maybe my high school self could tell me a thing or two as well.  Maybe she'd look at her 34 year old self and say, "Don't be afraid to take on those hurdles.  Even if you think you might fall and even if your form is way off, jump anyway."

The Nashville Ultra 50 Mile

Well, it has been a little over a week since the 50 mile, and I'm finally taking a moment to sit down and write about it.  It is almost an overwhelming task, especially when there is a little 15 month old who dismantles the entire study if I linger in it too long.  I've been recovering and I've been a little tired, but this week I'm ready to slowly and gently ease back into it.  While my body wants time to mend, my mind wants to say, "Nnnnnext!" 

First of all, I did it!  It was fun, tough, beautiful, cold, windy, and great.  It was a gorgeous fall day, and I had an amazing crew to see at each aid station starting with my mom and dad.  They went with me to Nashville Friday night and Mom took me to the start that morning.  I ran the first 16 mile loop before coming back to the start line and from there Mom and Dad were at every aid station.

 During the first 16 miles I chatted with other runners and met a lady named Patty.  She and I hung together until mile 23 or so when she turned around to complete the 50k and I kept going.  She was so fun to talk to and running with her made the first half of the race go by so quickly.

Around mile 18 I got a really bad ache in my right knee.  It was my IT band, and it worried me a little because I knew it was WAY to early to be hurting that bad.  I stretched it out a little and when I got to the next aid station I took some Ibuprofen.  I'm not totally sure how I feel about taking it - whether I should have or not, but I didn't have any more trouble with that knee, other than the usual aches and pains that come with running 50 miles, and I didn't have any tummy issues because of it either. 

After I parted ways with Patty, I got a little more focused.  I stuck one ear bud in and listened to some music, laughing a little at the crazy, eclectic mix I'd put on my ipod to entertain myself.  Some songs reminded me of my sister and I growing up so when I'd see Mom at an aid station, I'd pass along a lyric for her to tell Julie, and then Julie would pass along the rest of it back.  It helped to know Mom was posting updates on Facebook and texting with Julie - like it wasn't just me out there but I had the support and strength and courage of my friends and family (and it was SO FUN to get home and read everyone's cheers and encouragement on Facebook when it was all over).

Around mile 29 Jason showed up with Eloise and his mom, Debbie.  Jason joined me for the next 6 miles, which would take me to my turn around point.  It was this loooooong stretch of greenway that just went on and on and on.  It was windy and a short rain shower blew up while we were out there.  It was COLD, but thankfully short.  I was SO glad to have Jason with me for that endless stretch.  By the time we got back to the aid station where he'd joined me, it felt like we'd been gone an eternity.  I ate some chips, took a salt tablet at Jason's prompting and drank red Powerade.  My appetite for anything was slowly leaving, but I knew if I wanted to keep going, I had to keep eating.

Mom joined me for the next 3.5 miles and then Jason joined me for the rest of it.  It was tough.  I was tired.  It felt like the ground was coming up to meet me with hard, pounding force that was worse than a simple footfall.  Jason kept encouraging me to eat and drink, he carried my water bottle and my tiny bag of chips that I'd gotten from an aid station.  I walked on and off, running about a 10 minute pace when I was running.  Just as I knew it would be, miles 30-40 were tough mentally.  I'd run such a long way yet I still had so far to go. Jason and Mom kept my mind off of that and seeing all of them at each aid station re-energized and encouraged me. 

On the way back, just as on the way out there were 3 miles of trails.  These were mostly flat, grassy trails with a few rougher patches, but nothing bad at all.  It was here that I began to pick it up a little and to pass people.  There was a lady in a blue shirt who kept passing me and then I'd pass her, back and forth and to Jason I said, "Let's pretend she started with the 5:00 a.m. group." (This was an optional start time, but the race started at 7:00).  Jason told me I lacked "killer instinct" and I could work on it that very moment. "Do I have to work on it NOW?" I said to which he responded, "You gotta start sometime."  We took her down and I'm not sure I would have if Jason had not been with me.

There was a group of four runners with two guys and two girls who were only wearing sports bras (which made me cold just to see them).  I held them off as long as I could but they passed me in the end and I couldn't do a thing about it.  I could tell by the way they ran that they were feeling stronger than I was.  When we got off the trails, the ground came at me hard once again and I could feel each footfall all the way up my body.  My legs had had enough!

I ran the whole last mile.  I was so excited to have done it!  I met my main goal of finishing under 10 hours, coming in at 9:31 and I was the 12th female out of 38 who ran the 50 mile race.  It was an amazing experience full of strength, emotion, weariness, perseverance, family, support, love, beauty and so many other things.  It was more than just a race, but I can't explain that very well.  It is an experience to be savored long after it is over.  There was almost a grieving period the next few days as I was so sore and a little sad that the journey was over.  Post race blues, I guess.

I had a wonderful time, but I also wanted to feel stronger throughout the race.  I didn't want it to feel as hard as it felt at the end.  While I was strong and I pressed on, I wanted the end result to have been a little better.  So it left me hungry, I guess you could say, whereas I thought it would leave me fulfilled in the conquering of a goal.  But maybe that's what running, racing, training and recovering is about.

Either way, it made me grateful.  Grateful for the desire to do it (which I can't explain).  Grateful for a body that will cooperate.  Grateful for sweet family to support my craziness.  Grateful for friends who cheer me on.  Grateful to God for the whole thing.  I know all good things come from Him and to me, this is a good thing.

C.S. Lewis is quoted to have said, "If one could run without getting tired, I don't think one would often want to do anything else," and I suppose that is my explanation for wanting to do it in the first place and then wanting to do it again and again and again.

A cool picture Mom took at the start.

Eating a chip after an aid station (I did this a lot).

My new friend, Patty.

Jason joins me at mile 30.

Done!